h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was getting ready to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things and said to myself "I'd better go check the list and see what we need". So... there I was in the kitchen reading the list on the fridge, when I suddenly realized I was going after 7pm, and they'd have the day's leftover bagels marked way down , which meant that if we needed any, I'd better find out which kinds we were getting low on. I don't eat them, but everyone else in the family likes them, so we keep a few different flavors in the freezer, and each person gets out the one they want for breakfast the night before to give it time to thaw.

I returned to the living room, not with a list of other things that were on the grocery list pad, but instead with a mental list of which bagels to look for. So I grabbed my electronic brain (which I definitely need, since the brain in my head is obviously so addled ), and returned to the kitchen muttering something about needing to find out what was on the list in the kitchen, which I'd just said when I headed out to the kitchen the first time, not two minutes earlier. Of course the rest of the family picked up on this, and pointed out that's why I went to the kitchen the first time, so I explained that I was "distracted by bagels".

While I was in the kitchen this time, the rest of them had a real about the idea that anyone could be *that* distracted by bagels, and by the time I returned to the living room, they'd decided that Distracted by Bagels would be a good name for a rock group.

heavy metal guitar riff

I guess if we can have a group called Smashing Pumpkins, why not have one called Distracted by Bagels?

Of course "Distracted by Bagels" has become their favorite phrase since then. *rolls eyes*

So today, Amy+ and I were driving up to Ephrata to WallyWorld when we came upon 4 young mennonite men riding bicycles. Somehow this led into calling them a "Mennonite Biker Gang", which Amy+ decided should be the name of the new hit song by "Distracted by Bagels".

Suggested lyrics welcome.

You just couldn't make up stories like that could you

No, I couldn't...

I know, the family's . It goes a long way towards explaining why I'm the way *I* am, doesn't it?

No comment

So what's *my* excuse - I don't have a family to blame it on

*shrug*

I'm still waiting for lyrics for Mennonite Biker Gang, by the way...

Fraid the muse hasn't hit me yet...

I'm still trying to work out what 'Mennonite' means...

Oh, I was travelin' that lonesome road
With a hurtin' heart and a heavy load,
And before my weary eyes there sprang
A Mennonite bikin' gang....

Oh, say, have you heard about poor Lady Scott,
Who went to the fridge, and then promptly forgot
The list that she needed for her grocery shopping--
Distracted by bagels, her mind nearly stopping....

Oh, those bagels, oh, those bagels,
Onion, caraway, poppy seed, rye.
Oh, those bagels, oh, those bagels,
Piling up lovingly to the sky.

Slather them with butter,
Top 'em with cream cheese,
Then the magic words you utter:
"More bagels, please, please!"

"Oh, I was travelin' that lonesome road
With a hurtin' heart and a heavy load,
And before my weary eyes there sprang
A Mennonite bikin' gang...."

Would fit the "I am Australian" tune...

Cat

Thanks, Paul! I *knew* you'd come through for me! Oops, I mean FPR.


Cat-eyes, Mennonites are a "plain" religious sect common in this area. Although there are more progressive Mennonites who dress like the rest of us, many of them dress very conservatively, depending on the particular church they attend. In the more conservative groups, the women all wear their hair up in buns, with some type of "covering" on their heads. The boys all wear suspenders to hold their trousers up (no belts). You won't likely find the conservative ones wearing T-shirts or shorts, or anything that smacks of "current styles", everything looks old fashioned, by at least 50 years, if not 100.

as the word suspenders means something quite different in England....

Yes, I know - which is why I explained that they're used in place of belts on trousers (which we usually just call pants here, but I was trying to make sure everyone understood).

Suspenders are just stretchy straps that attach to the front and back waistband of trousers, going over the shoulders. I have no idea what you call them over there, assuming you have them at all.

Probably braces.

My mother followed my father and I around early one morning making a master list for grocery shopping (at several stores). My father and I got in the truck and drove to the first store where we realized that my mother had kept the list she had made and taken it with her to work.

I get distracted by things like that all the time!

Luckily, it doesn't happen too often...


Oh, look, it's raining! We really needed the rain, because...


Oops, leftovers are getting cold! I'm having leftofer Pork Chops Diane with a bunch of sauteed vegetables, like...



Hmm, thirsty. Now where'd I put that water? Oh yeah, it's right over...


Uh-oh, I never finished putting the groceries away. I did most of them, there's just a couple things to put in the fridge so they don't go...


Well, will you look at that! We already *had* an extra package of cheese!

I reckon 'Distracted by Bagels' would make a great title for your autobiography, Lady S.

You appear to be laboring under the delusion that I've had a life to write about.





Worth writing about.





Whatever.


I'm not likely to ever write an autobiography, there wouldn't be much of anything to tell.

BTW, good to see you back on here lately... Where have you been hiding for so long?