h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wish I was called Rock.

< waves magic wand >

Now you're called Rock.

Rock on, baby!

Always wanted to say that.

Well Rock, lets roll

Paul H, could you turn me into a hard place<?>

*waits to find out who she wants between her an Rock*

Let's leave that up to the fella's.

Speaking of hard places.......

(Sick joke alert)

What's the difference between Cinderella and Princess Diana?

At midnight, Cinderella's coach turned into a pumpkin,
while Diana's turned into a wall.

in danish a cue and a queue are both pronounced *and* spelled the same way (kø)

i once rang home from the pub explaing to my wife that i would be late for dinner and had to run because there was a long cue waiting at the phone

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head when it hits a car windscreen? It's bottom.

Pierce, I don't think cues should be allowed
to use phone booths. That's dirty pool.

Ach damn I feel sure I was meant to make some sort of pun here. Looks like I missed my cue.

REPORTER: Mother Superior, why are the nuns in your convent so strong?

MOTHER SUPERIOR: Force of habit.

surely pumping iron can't be a nun's habit?

It can't be easy getting the wrinkles out of
some of those habits. I'd imagine a nun would
have to pump her iron rather a bit...

Oh I don't think so. She'd probably get board.

Nunsense!
She should just switch to un-convent-ional methods.

I agree. None of this monk-eying around which seems to go on for reverend ever.

When the nuns are crabby in the Abbey,
'tis the winter of our disconvent.

Summer not so crabby though...

I knew you would Fall for that, Lady Scott.