h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Announcing The 1st Annual Hootoo Pun-A-Thon.

I, Pandora - Born Again Tart - b.a.t.have dibs on the asprin stand as well as all earplugs & hearing aid battery removal services!

The Pun-A-Thon shall begin now & the judging will be during The Annual Harvest Festival. The Thread(s) for The Fest will be
repeatedly announce until it becomes so annoying as to make you see the threads in your sleep.

You have until September something or other to come up with THE best......worst? pun(s)

Prizes shall be announced at a later date. Much, much later.

...*begins by setting out a Pun-kin...*

...*holds out checkered flag...* "Punsters start your pungines!"
...waves it down...*May the best man/woman/thing win! And GO!"

I bet the whole thing will just be a flash in the pun.

...*screws in her ear plugs...*

Oh so punny

Wonderful idea but I am totally useless at puns.
I'll try though.
Wonderful to be back.

to the
Queen with the black plaits!!

AR1

They say'A pun in time saves 9'
Off to think up puns~oh,what cruel punishment!

Dearest AR1,
right back attcha'.SPLAT
I wanted to give you a ...
'toe-mato', 'to-maato'.
See you at the beer tent, I'm quiet sure, once The Harvest Festival begins!
...*whispers...*AR1 may be a bit long in the tooth, but man, can she handle her fluids!

Don't everyone look at me like I have no respect for the Lady's age. Ar1 ROCKS!
Jussss keep your eyes on your men folk when she's about. That's all I'm sayin'.
'Specially if they'er Saliors. Or Postal W*rkers.
Or......just lock-down your men. Thass all I'm sayin'

Much love & happy pun-chew-a-shuns everyone.
~Love, Pun-dora~

Oh good, it's time to be punctual.

I love these ear plug-me-ups! Your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying.

Fluffy Pink Rabbit got out of the house
yesterday, and I had to chase him through
the herb garden. Herb was mighty annoyed,
I can tell you that!

Finally, FPR hid in the basil, so I said to him,
"Don't make a pesto yourself."

"Just let me have a little thyme in here, and then
I'll be cumin back in the house," the bunny said.

"But what if your fur picks up some unsavory creatures?"
I cautioned. "They could be rap-scallions. Let
me know when you're fennelly ready to come back inside."

...*blows lunch in the trough behind the asprin stand...hands Paul H a set of jumper cables...*
You just came in here to start sumthin'! Didn't you!
...*smashes head against an oak block she's had brought in for the Pun-A-Thon....*

: *Puns* may become a sickness, if so, notify me staight away, with your credit card # & insurance card. I'll have you & up and punning again in no time.
I mean up and "running"!!!
...*Takes out credit card and insurance card...charges herself double as this is seemingly an emergency...*

Pandora, dear.

Do you, or do you not want people to come here
and share their puns in this thread? You know very
well that there are people like me who have to
make puns. It's not something we have a choice about.
If someone puts a welcome mat in front of the door,
we walk in.

When you make up your mind, let me know.

...*rolls out the pun-k carpet....*
Cheese & crackers Paul H. I had the trough installed as I knew I wouldn't be able to keep anything down. Ooooo...*takes
out note pad.makes a note to self...*:market the 'Pun-Diet'.

You see Paul H. I have been a bit punaphobic.
As a mental health professional, it is extremely difficult to admit this. Giving myself an old fashioned:
"Get Over It"...The more I'm exposed to punsthe easier it will be for me to not become insane when I travel to vist mari & Kes.

ASPRINSEARPLUGSGetUM
BeforeThePriceGouging
Begins!
Asprins

As-puns?

I grew up in a family where people such as my uncles
made puns as easily as walking or breathing. It
was a veritable pundemic of punning.

Name two countries in the Mideast.
Irock and Iroll.

I'll stick with the lighter diet of the Asian wok-N-roll.

The book of Mark?

Is that the Gospel truth?

Ouch....



Bassman

Which Ouch?

Groscar the Ouch?