h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've heard of some unusual pecadilloes, but that takes the !

Cat shaver, huh? I'd of never guessed. Sick, sick, sick.

Her fur was all matted, it had to be done.

I've always said that people who used words like pecadilloe were sick in the head...

True, I think I've been developing a sinus infection. Plus, I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on Friday. I'll admit it. I'm sick in the head.

Psycho

Now, now. There's no need to get personal. Keep it up and I'll bring up that little incident you were involved in back in 1986...

Hey, it was my birthday. What was I supposed to do?

But did you have to get the Prime Minister and that panda bear involved?

It is my opinion that Panda Bears have had it all too easy. Toothless wonder eh?

What, you call a diet of sharp bamboo easy?

I had to change the nickname--the teeth are gone now, as well as the anxiety.

Anxiety from what? All those legumious vegetables?

Mmmmm...well, they ARE the magical fruit. But that in and of itself would not be a cause for anxiety. Frankly, *lowers tone* I suffer from snorkaphobia.

Snorkaphobia? You don't like snorks? But they're cute, and like smurfs, but with snorkels for noses!

No, you fool! I'm mortally afraid of Cheez Whiz! For the love of Mike, were you born in a barn? Ye gads!

Just 'cause I was here born in da farm didn't give yon reason nuff ta pick

Oh dear. Sporkbonics. I knew it. Where's my guidebook?

*ahem*

No-y speak-y dese tongue. Me born een city.

Shure. Don't rightly think befores ya goin' blab. I hears ya.

City Gurl huh? Never et pig's toes?

Most certainly not, my good fellow (lady). Why, I would tremble before the very idea of consuming the hooves of a filthy animal.

Where y'all comin' ferm? We gives dem scrubbin' with da soap first.

Oh, how toothsome! You mean one can experience the great joy of essence of Lava or Dove with the cloven hoof? Pardon me while my stomach experiences an upheaval.

Myself, I prefer oysters on the half shell, champaigne, and sevruga caviar and sour cream atop a buckwheat blini.

Who ya callin' buckwheat?