h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...can you carry a tune in that love bucket of yours?

Being a love bucket and all, I would have to say without a doubt, quite possibly. I wish I knew what my love bucket-ness is all about, but Mr. Cleese was very vague, when he dubbed me his 'love bucket,' what exactly that entails.

John Cleese? As in Monty Python? My, you travel in august company indeed.

less travel more bump into distractedly

As opposed to bumping into in a focused manner?

exactly! you're smarter than you look.

Oh yeah? And how am I looking at you?

rather like a rabid mongoose in a hailstorm trying to enjoy a spot of tea. Speaking of which, ?

*Wonders how many mongoose in such a situation one can come across in one's life...decides none*

Sure. Cream and sugar, please.

Sorry, no cream, but plenty of sugar... though I'm not really sure why people call me sugar. Is it not healthy, wealthy, and, well, at least ponderous to dream up three impossible things each day?

Okay then. How about honey?

Certainly, certainly

I suppose lemon would be asking too much of you?

Well, I'm not the one who dropped in, was I now? Always come prepared, that's my motto

Had I known you practiced safer tea, I would have carried a lemon in my back pocket. In any case--what kind of a host does not have the finer citrus fruits? Mmmmmm?

The more important question would be what sort of a host would I be if I offered bitter citrus fruit to all of my guests? Surely, there would only be bitterness left, and none of the cirtrusness

I think you've missed the underlying issue. To quote a much loved song:

If I pour you a cup, that is friendship,
if I add your milk, that is manners,
if I stop there, claiming ignorance of taste,
that is tea.

But if I measure the sugar
to satisfy your expectant tongue
then that is love.

I've never heard of it.... I think I might have some grapefruit, if that would suffice?

I detest grapefruit. I won't bore you with the details, other than to say we've had a long history together.

I hope it was monogamous.... I'm very sorry that I have no citrus for you, but I am a juicer, and every time a piece of respectable fruit comes into contact with me, well, let's just say it soon comes into contact with Señor Cuisenart