h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sporky straightens out his shirt, looks around, a spies a lemon*

Wow. Lookie! Perhaps I should save this, in case anyone wants some tea...

Oh, so now he's trying to ply us with drinks in hopes that we will forget about this ugly incident...bribery will get you nowhere young man!

*starts wildly lobbing white asparagus*

Have you ever got a spot of lemon in your eye, Marv?

Mwhahhahaha

Methinks some grapefruit might do the trick as well. Ah, how I love the smell of torture and/or citrus in the morning!

And here I was complementing the two of you on your witty reparte'...

Now he's dirtying up the whole conversation with French words. Blasphemy!

Are you sure that was French? It looked like Finnish to me. What else would you expect of a bunch of mangy reindeer herders?

Well put, well put

*aims a carefully chosen pomegranate at a retreating head (with a retreating hairline)*

Now let's not cast aspersions--or asparagus, for that mattter. *I* have a full head of hair, thank you very much!

and such a wonderous mane it is *ahem* I was casting aspersions at Marv

Especially since I had it trimmed last night! Must remove the split ends, you know.

Speaking of removal, don't we have a job to do?

*picks up a pitchfork*

I think we need the heavy artillery.

What, you mean leadened arrows and such?

A trebuchet!!!!!

*gets starry eyed at the vision of the cornucopia of fine produce one could put in a trebuchet*

Please do not use medieval seige engines to hurl produce at me. I capitulate.

The purpose of this exercise is to inflict terror into the black hearts of any other lurkers who are laboring under the erroneous impression they have something meaningful to contribute here. Stand and face your punishment!

Mea Culpa.

Splat!

Splat!

Splat!

Splat!

Thunk!

Whump!

Squelch!

flpt

Just to make sure he won't come back let's add some baked goods.

I'd through a donut, but I'm saving them for Greebo. Is flan really considered a backed good? I was thinking that they had to be mostly solid...