h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sir, are you spitting that fine representative of avian domesticity at me?

Would you prefer a ?
*takes aim*
--------------------------------@

If you feel you must spit, then why not try s? Yo ho ho matey and all that rot.

I try to stay away from all rot... you know, fungi and all.

But I heard you were a really fungi! *bah-dump-bump*

I humbly apologize to you. I forgot all about this thread while away over the weekend, and neglected to check it on Monday. Can you ever forgive me?

?

I have no other choice. You're the only one that ever stops by.

Yes, with lemon please.

The only one? Why, I think you need to get out amongst the hoi polloi more often and mix it up! How else can one win friends and influence people?

Will a lime do?

I'll take any fruit in my tea, as long as the any part doesn't include strawberries, peaches, or kumquats.

I always thought one won friends through cleverly guised tactics of vehement dislike.

What on earth have you got against strawberries in tea?

I have always found lavish cash gifts help immensely when acquiring bosom friends.

Bosom friends? What if you just want the bosom, not the friend?

I've already got a bosom. What would I need another one for?

That's a bad joke waiting to happen.

What's it waiting for? Open the door and let it in!!!!

I think he's shy

Perhaps he needs a morale booster. BOSOM! BOSOM! BOSOM!

I had no idea you had such a range of octave! Are you an opera singer?

No. Just a chick with large...er...metal breastplates.

And a chastity belt... and a horned helmet? What sort of horns are those anyways?

Rhinoceros. It's an aphrodisiac.

They smell like poo. And why would you want to arouse a Rhino?