h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do you ever get the impression that 80%+ of the time we're tolking over the heads of those around us?

It's their fault for being chainsmoking, cannibalistic, unelightened people who don't like Red Dwarf.

Besides, everybody loves semi-obscure refrences. And those who don't love the Spanish Inquisition. Semi-carnally.

"Do you ever get the impression that 80%+ of the time we're tolking
over the heads of those around us?" [T B Flasename]

Is that because you're standing on the shoulders of midgets?

"It's their fault for being chainsmoking, cannibalistic, unelightened people who don't like Red Dwarf. Besides, everybody loves semi-obscure refrences. And those who don't love the Spanish Inquisition. Semi-carnally" [EvilClaw]

Be careful, EC. The chainsmoking, cannibalistic, unelightened (sic) Red-Dwarf-hating people are a fairly large voting block in both red and blue states (and also in purple and go-go-pink states as well ). You can't escape them, you will be assimilated, mwa ha ha!

But I dun wanna be assimilated! Or spell correctly!

And now, The History of The Nude in My Bed, ART! The History of The Nude in Tart, Call-Girl, BUM! Oooh what a give away.

*woman enters and aproaches*

Hello confessor, proffesor, your honour, your grace.

Er, Mr Lambert will be able to help you there. (calls) Lambert! Will you show these twenty good people the, er, dog kennels, please?

That's not a kennel, that's Lady Constance Du Coverlet. And this is 'Stabbim', one of our skutters.

How am I looking? I'm looking nice.

I'm not your Grace! I'm your Elsie!

What a terrible joke.

But it's my only line

Have I finally crossed over into the Twilight Zone?

If so, I had better get some better material, because what I've seen so far is incomprehensible....

Are you taking responsibility for this, oh creature? Do you stay awake nights thinking of ways to stupefy and confound me?
Well, be aware that the world will soon be ending, and you need to repent. Fortunately, I can help you repent if you buy this Heaven Insurance policy that I happen to be selling. It will insure that you get into Heaven when you die...

Hmm, but it's christmas in heaven, and christmas is a time of woe and depresion

Besides, if I am the creator than the end of times is right on schedule. I assume. I lost my date book.

You lost your date book?



I just found it. Your next date will be in 2017, and it will be with Terminia Fleasor. She used to be attractive, before her hair fell out. But maybe she'll get lucky and grow more hair.

Hah hah! No, Paul. That's my Avoid Book. My date book contains times and chronological dates for when I have events planned

Easy mistake to make.

Well, then, that's okay.

I sure would have felt sorry about you going out with Terminia Fleasor, given her hunchback and bad breath and billion-dollar inheritance .