Journal Entries
Finally...
Posted Apr 21, 2007
...a new journal entry! 
Okay, it's update-time 
I've been home now for nearly three weeks. When I left Passau, I still hadn't found a new tennant for my flat, but my landlord&lady found a student who took it on the 15th april. That was 
, otherwise I would have been bound by contract to keep on paying the rent.
In february I signed out of university in Passau. In the last week of march I found out that I could still enroll in certain courses of study in Düsseldorf university (which is only half an hour away from home). So I wrote to them, and I'm now enrolled as a student of chemistry. *Ahem* 
This of course isn't *quite* my favourite subject. But as I don't mean to stay in Düsseldorf, nobody needs to know . The Kindergeld my parents get in 6 months (I don't know if this kind of allocation exists everywhere 
) is more than I had to pay to enroll, and I can keep my insurance-status, AND I get a free ticket for trains and buses in the whole area. So it was worth it, even though my CV will look more patch-work like than ever.
So now I go to uni every other day and listen to lectures that interest me. (Nothing on chemistry so far. 
) Lectures here aren't restricted, so practically anyone can sit in the auditorium and just listen. I never take notes and don't mean to write any exams this term.
Which leads me onto the next subject: I still consider myself to be on recovery. I've been taking anti-depressants for nearly three months now, as Ed and JEllen already know. Thank you guys again for encouraging me 
, I was really alone at that time. My parents and my two best friends know about the medication now, but I don't think they *quite get it*, I'm not sure they realize how ill I was.
The meds are working okay, they help me to have the energy to face everyday life. My constant fear and tension have really subsided. I had several drawbacks, but all in all it's better that it was. The side-effects were bad in the beginning, but I don't notice any at the moment, except that I have gained some weight.
I have made an appointment in some ten days time with a new neurologist, here in town. And I've copied out a list of psychologists from the yellow pages, I'll try and get an appointment with a therapist soon.
Other plans are...searching for a new university 
for the autumn-term. And trying to live a normal life, I guess .
Discuss this Journal entry [6]
Latest reply: Apr 21, 2007
Music
Posted Dec 31, 2006
For christmas I got two new cds. Well, anything that was released this year is pretty new for me . Franz Ferdinand's new album and the latest Belle & Sebastian. There are three songs on the B & S album which I absolutely love: We are the Sleepyheads , has wonderfully happy guitar-parts, Song for Sunshine (I think they released that as a single) is very beautiful, and Funny little Frog is 
, too.
Yesterday I had a look through my old videos, and I found a seriously cool thing I taped some years ago: the german hip hop group Die fantastischen Vier on MTV Unplugged. They recorded that in a cave, with a strange atmosphere. As a child growing up in the nineties, they were constantly in my ears, I still can sing along to most of the songs .
I couldn't find a video of the Unplugged session, MTV probably doesn't give the rights away, but I found this video on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygvlMYLasoI&search=Die%20fantastischen%20vier%20fantastic%20four%20smou%20le%20german%20hiphop%20rap
They're really brilliant, very funny .
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Dec 31, 2006
Close your eyes and smile
Posted Dec 20, 2006
- cue Chris Rea - 
Driving home for Christmas 
Discuss this Journal entry [2]
Latest reply: Dec 20, 2006
Friday, 15th december
Posted Dec 15, 2006
So. I just went to see the uni's psychologist, or shrinky lady, as Terri would say.
It wasn't very helpful. She rather increased my self-doubts.
Hmm, well. I'll be going home next thursday and stay 2 weeks or more over christmas. I'm looking forward to that.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Dec 15, 2006
A Cheerful Entry!
Posted Dec 10, 2006
As promised
I'm making myself a couple of comfortable days, friday, yesterday and today. Putting up fairy lights and lighting a candle that smells of gingerbread. I've hung up a bundle of birdseed outside, and a few 
s have already come and inspected it.
I had a late brunch with lots of fruit, I'm trying to eat a little healthier. For my chinese green tea I used my favourite porcelaine-set: an original chinese pot and cups, they're light green with handpainted white blossoms from a very interesting shop, its called Fischer's Lagerhaus (= warehouse). They have a homepage, it's only in German but you can get an idea of the shop by looking at all the photos http://www.fischers-lagerhaus.de/
I'm reading a couple of books at the moment:
Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre - first I thought it a bit kitschy, but now I really like it, I think I would have loved it as a girl. I haven't read a lovestory in ages, it's quite nice, reading something romantic for a change.
James Joyce: Dubliners - I'm reading about a story per week, it's not going so fluently as Jane Eyre. The style is pretty interesting, but it's a bit as if it were only a style-exercise, I like a real story with beginning and end better (at the moment at least).
I also have Mr. Dawkins lying around, but I'm afraid that I'm stuck at chapter 2. I'll give it another try today.
Half for uni is a book about the developement of states in middle-europe since the middle-ages, it's totally non-fiction 
, not boring, but a little dry.
Do other people sometimes make these musical discoveries as well ? I've got these 2 songs which I really love at the moment, one is Joni Mitchell's "Court and Spark", the other The Clash's "Stay Free". I've had them both on CD for a long time, but I never really noticed the songs before. But now suddenly they strike me .
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Dec 10, 2006
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Susanne - if it ain't broke, break it!
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