h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>> drugs give you crabs



Or make you crabby?

" now work at a plant making PTFE, which is white." SoRB

Wow, non stick bogies! You could be on to something there!

>>I should point out that my bogeys used to be brown because I was chief engineer in a chocolate factory and that cocoa powder gets *everywhere*.

SoRB is an Oompah-Loompah???!!!!


Then there was Spike Milligan's story about when he caught crabs during the war. In those days, the treatment was Blue Ungent. So, armed with his prescription, he went up to the pharmacist's counter in a posh department store.
'I'd like some...er...Blue Ungent, please,' he asked.
'Speak up, sir,' said the assistant, snidely, 'I can't quite hear you.'
'I'd like some Blue Ungent, please,' repeated Spike.
'Oh,' said the assistant in a loud, censorious voice, 'You'd like some Blue Ungent, would you.'
'Yes,' said Spike, 'I'VE GOT F-----G CRABS!'

I remember once buying some Canestan in a fairly large branch of Boots. As the pharmacy assistant went through the questions, I could see her getting more and more nervous about The Big One - where exactly did I have my fungal infecttion.

I smiled at her very sweetly and said "vaginally". The queue got a little restive, but she produced the tube readily enough.

And then there was the time I was buying a vaginal pessary in Stockholm where the assistant simply refused to speak to me in English.

B

Only being a bit ish makes my bogeys go white.

And I dont indulge in that kinda thing ever anymore, honest

From trolls to sea food to tweety birds in three easy stages, eh?

"SoRB is an Oompah-Loompah???!!!!"

Definitely not. Oompa-Loompah's operate the chocolate makers. I actually designed and engineered the processes. Therefore, I'm a Wonka.

And I know that's true, because I've heard people calling me that...

SoRB

The odd thing is, also, because of the way that PTFE coagulates, not only are your bogies non-stick, they're also very easy to roll into easily flickable pellets (think about the way plumbers' tape behaves, and you're on the right lines).

Hmmm.

SoRB

What is PTFE, SoRB?

I'm concerned about all this belly fluff. I don't seem to have any, but maybe that's because I dress differently from y'all, being in the tropics. Do you generate enough to stuff a pillow if you saved it for a year?

Actually, MoG, I think belly fluff is a boysy thing not a girlie thing. As SoRB rightly spotted, I don't actually have any in my belly button.

I think it's the tummy-hair that holds it in.

B

PTFE = polytetrafluoroethylene

I believe it is the same stuff as Teflon, either way it is a non slip/stick plastic with lots of uses.

And, according to Google,
"When PTFE is overheated, it releases toxic fluorine containing gases that can kill parrots."

Which seems rather specific for a toxic gas

But a useful piece of infomation should there ever be an Invasion of the Killer Parrots.

How did they find that out? Get a bunch of animals in a room with the gas and note that only the parrots died?

So you shouldn't keep your parrot in your kitchen in case you burn your pans?

<>

Gosh, that must mean *I'm* a chocolate factory engineer. And a fat one at that.

Some types of dental tape/tape are made of PTFE. It's good stuff to use when there's not much space between teeth.

Well my oh my has this thread had significant topic drift.

It's SoRB's PTFE bogies - we can't stick to the subject.

What a wonderful bunch of images this backlog has conjured up - non-stick bogies, oompah-loompahs and fat Wonkas!



Not too sure about gassing parrots though...
"he's shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!"



Do I deserve to be pelted for resorting to that?

well, someone did mention bringing you up on a charge, but apparently it wouldn't stick.