h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dark red juicy ones

So he helped himself to some of Ellens
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The Isle of Wight is the best place to live

If your brain resembles a sieve

Yes, if you're very dumb

Then, by all means, come

3

And see what it has to give.
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There once was a young boy from Michigan

Who wanted to fly like a pelican

He flapped his arms

      o      o       o      o
° ° ° °

And leapt up out of harm's
Way - but he fell in a ditch agin.

(Tch! Look what rhymes I'm given to work with here...)

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That thing on your head's not a hat!

It's runny and liquidy and flat

Just like peanut butter [don't ask]

That's been left in the gutter

Oh my god! It's a steam-rollered cat!

********

A snake and a cow had a race

To see who would come in first place

It was a bit daft

They were both on a raft

And locked in a peculiar embrace

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On encountering a large Terminator

I was attacked by a large aligator

They both snarled and spat

I said "fancy that"
(sorry it's banal I'm ill)