h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Aye, thats the bane


;^)#

Time and distance, so loose

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Roger the wombat, my friend

Came to an unpleasant end

;^)#

whilst eating salami

He went totally barmy

And fell to his death, end over end

sob

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A white elephant went to the show

He eats roots & leaves, its the trend


;^)#

Sweeping through the West End

A white elephant went to the show

A fat bloke trod on his toe

His trunk got the skunk

THE WORST ATTEMPTS AT RHYMES BY VERY BAD POETS

The intrepid very bad poet doesn't let something as simple as not having the right word in mind get in his or her way. Sometimes a bad poet stretches so hard for a rhyme that we as readers are forced to do a little stretching on our own, as in the following prime examples of truly creative attempts at rhyming:

from "In a Book-store" by Francis Saltus Saltus

Sad, on Broadway next afternoon,
I strolled in listless manner,
Humming her most detested tune,
And smoking an Havana.


from "The Light-Bearer of Liberty" by J. W. Scholl

Gooing babies, helpless pygmies,
Who shall solve you Fate's enigmas?


from "Indian Corn" by Rev. William Cook

Corn, corn, sweet Indian corn,
Greenly you grew long ago.
Indian fields well to adorn,
And to parch or grind hah-ho!

Source: Very Bad Poetry, Kathryn Petras & Ross Petras (ed.)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ours are wonderful team - forward to greatness.

Here is one before I put the head to bed.


A bad rhyme is a crime
It's far better to hum
A pun can be fun
My favourite tipple
A slippery nipple
Strawberry sherbert and lime

"Vogon Poetry, is of course, the third worst in...."

Sorry.

Very Sorry.

Stop hitting me.

Please.

A white elephant went to the show
A fat bloke trod on his toe
His trunk got the skunk


Who now, had shrunk

;^)#

which for him was a terrible blow.

(I don't understand it either...)
---------------------------------

Lily Savage, on "Blankety Blank"

Was quite pathetic and rank

with gender uncertain,

and wearing a curtain,


;^)#

So he covered his head with a pail.

And the three took a plunge

And began to wail