h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Pastey...those were GREAT!!!...You must go to TowelMasters forum for Jokes and post those!!!...they would fit in perfectly!!!!
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as for in this forum.....they are successfully warding off the harm that would come to MadMunks page whilst he is away if we were not here to distract Saber...Keep it up!!!!
ALL HAIL THE MADMUNK!!!!
monsy (the pagesitter)

oohoohooh (waving hand like Horshack from welcome back mr.kotter)
The Last Ten Things Any Man Would Ever Say

10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherf**ker.
9. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7. Her tits are just way too big.
6. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.
4. Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.
3. We haven't been to the mall in ages; let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
2. F**k Monday Night Football--let's watch Murphy Brown.
1. I think we're lost--we'd better pull over and ask for directions.

The Last Ten Things Any Woman Would Ever Say

10. Can our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.
9. Go ahead and leave the seat up--it's easier for me to douche that way.
8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7. Hey, get a whiff of that one!
6. Please don't throw that old t-shirt away--the holes in the armpit are just too cute.
5. This diamond ring is just way too big.
4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
3. Wow, it really is 14 inches!
2. Does this make my butt look too small?
1. I'm wrong--you must be right again.

I hope i didn't pollute any young developing minds, mine is already to far gone to be saved

Not to worry Kat....The minds in this forum were pre-polluted!
monsy

Hey! I do protest!!!

re: 2. Does this make my butt look too small?

Please see my journal entry "Fat Bottomed Girls". But that again may be the facial hair.

i think it is the facial hair talking

As long as she doesn't take to leaning on shovels and whistling at passersby, she'll probably be all right!

NM

Hey Fairly Strange or should I say NM........*:-Þ~~~~!!*......thought I would do that for Fenchurch as I am sure she would be too polite outside of ARSE to do so herself......
monsy

hehe thanks

I just need to remember that the beard is fake. For a while I was considering hormone replacment to grow a real one, but I decided that was just going too far.

Which brings me to another joke which definitely CAN NOT be told as minds would go directly down the drain. But it's really funny.

come on Fenchurch....tell us the joke, you know you want to and hey....our minds are already down the drain so you cannot cause anymore harm with it....besides that, you have peaked our curiousity and we will not let you be until you tell it ......
monsy

It's really really bad!!!!! REALLY!!! The editors would kill me- slaughter me- and maybe even my alter human ego! NOOO!!! I could mail it to you, if you'd like... or you're on AOL, I could IM it across... but hey, I just found the most horrible thing!!! Awful!!! check out the link-

http://www.amused.com/fish.html

i have seen that before, my aunt e-mailed it to me and it is TERRIBLE!!!...the poor fishie
as for the joke you cannot tell...please either e-mail it to me or IM it to me when we are both online....i would love to see it
monsy

Yes, yes, e-mail it to me too!!! (no, no, you can not possibly have anything worse than i've already heard from various other sources....)
Hey, this forum has like, quadroupled (whatever) in size in like, two days.... i bet Saber died of laughter.....
I feel inadequate now, i can't think of any jokes whatsoever.....

you think so??!!
monsy

At least we haven't touched on the dead nuns or dead babies jokes. They really are in bad taste.

Pastey....be careful what you say....you would not want to give anyone any ideas now would you?!
monsy

Alright, I'll mail it to you MM- but I need the address as I think it's been binged by my mail server... and Monsy I'll look for you on AOL. If I can remember it...yes, yes, that's it. heh heh.

Brunette: Why did the blonde move to L.A.?
Blonde: I don't know.
Brunette: Because it was easier to spell.
Blonde: Easier than what?

If Monsey is online I want her to come to this forum straight away coz from now on war has been declared! I've had enough! I'm blond and I'm a guy. How the Hell do you think I feel about all these jokes? They are quite funny mind, aren't they?
By the way, I told you Sadmunk couldn't stay away for long.

By the way what dead baby or nun jokes are there? I've heard loads about live nuns but none about the gonners.

Seeing as we're on the subject of dirty jokes, does anyone know the one about Mick Jagger and Mars Bars? My dad's refused to tell me until i'm eighteen.

Yeah, email me that one as well. There's a link on my page.

Dead babies would indeed be a topic wise to steer clear of. However, are you referring to the 'What's red and sits in the corner all day?' 'A **** with a J*****n in its head.' era?

Sorry, it's just that my generation was during the 'defenition of pain' era, and we had lots of mice running down six inch blades using their **** as brakes, and sk*nned ****** in packets of salt and vinegar crisps.

(i just HAD to censor that, as i think it would fall under rule number one, obscene and objectional. A kid i know told me it - he and his friend used to cut up teddy bears and set fire to them, and put red and black ants in together and watch them fight, or set fire to one ant and drop it in a bowl of others - in a fun way, seriously. They aren't satanists, or anything. They're really nice guys, as long as they're not together.)

A blonde couple is..... hehe why is it so hard to post these jokes when telling them is easy? I don't know, I think it's cuz they're all 15...

Blonde guy...whoo poor boy

You are not at all funny just incase you haven't noticed. And don't take the p**s out of me coz it just won't get me annoyed you stupid little moronic, small town librarian.