h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Time is running out. We're surely in a position now where we won't haggle.

We have the cash. A good signing at slightly over the odds is still a good signing.

Sign those two lads even at outrageous rip off prices and we'll still have cash in the bank after all the sales.

And for political reasons spending serious cash would be a good move. People are getting suspicious that the club isn't in as good a financial position as it claims.

LB. CB. DM. And we'll all be happy.

Right?

I'd be ok with that. I think we need more but the main thing for now is to get players that allow us a good base to work on.

Then in January we can get the flair players, if we want.

Blimey, that was quick.

We're not desperately short of flair.

We can use the January window to sign people to replace all our injured players.

I forgot about that Jack.

Just for a moment I thought I was out of premod.

No such luck.

Almost eight months now.

Anyway Mac, things are so bad at Arsenal that I don't even feel like laughing at Spurs.

That's how cruel the football gods are. They give us a 1-5 to laugh at, then they make us get hammered 8-2.

And I was watching it with a Man Utd fan. I mean for god sake.

I can still chuckle because even when we're near the relegation zone, they're still below us.

The Football Gods are easily the most evil of all gods.

But at least with Spurs around we know that the lowest we can ever get is second last in the league.

It is reassuring to know their role of always being around to amuse us is still intact even now.

Some things never change, Mac.

At least we can say our humiliation was the result of having a gazillion players missing. They have no such excuse. They're just Spurs being Spurs.

Nice to know that our local rivals will never overtake us. If only Manchester United could say that. But they can't because David de Gea will make sure that Citeh win the league.

A miserable time to be supporting a red team then Jack? Citeh winning the league is going to make me feel pretty sick.

Money talks, Mac.

When a club can pay its players 200 grand per week league titles are an inevitability.

It's morally wrong.

Unless Arsenal are ever in a position to do it, of course.

Then we'd just have to accept it Jack. I mean at least we can say we already won things doing it the 'hard' way.

In the meantime Mac, we'll just have to point out that regular fourth place finishes with our resources is a much greater achievement than all the trophies City and Chelsea are hoovering up with the GDP of Germany.

So we can still consider ourselves superior.

But trophyless.

That's right Jack. Superior but trophyless.

Although I wouldn't mind being inferior and erm trophied.

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Now what????

Debating the merits of cash rich sheiks against those of low-spending billionaires from the New World is against the rules???

I'll make an assumption that you're doing one now Jack, given the mods can't be bothered to wake up.

Have a good one.

I'll be gone in five minutes, Mac.

See you tomorrow.

Morning.

It's only Tuesday. This week feels like it's lasted for years already.