h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I concur, Mac.

I was expecting a trouncing but when I saw the team I figured an annihilation might be on the cards. And so it proved.

But the only way is up, eh?

So even the mods are out enjoying the bank holiday then?

Only way is up? Possibly but we have to endure the internationals now, where we get more injuries.

I know, Mac.

Van Persie will get injured obviously. That's a tradition.

But so will half a dozen others.

And if we did make a major signing over the next couple of days you can be sure he will immediately wreck his cruciate in a match against Belgium or Sierra Leone before he ever kicks a ball for us.

You have enough bank holidays in Ireland Jack.

You can never have enough bank holidays, Mac.

I see Le boss didn't waste much time shipping Traore out after yesterday's debacle. He was so bad he may even have cost Tony Cascarino his job on Sky.

Poor old QPR.

Jack, you're right. We need to sign them and just say they have a hamstring injury, let's face it - it'll be believed somebody did it just from doing the medical at ours.

I'm sure whoever it is will break their arm signing the new contract anyway.

I don't understand what Cascarino was trying to say? Traore had a mass genocide?

Our squad is undergoing a mass genocide.

Jack, they'll also rupture an abdominal muscle putting the shirt on.

Was he trying to suggest that Traore was as likely to repel Nani as Anne Frank was to repel the axis forces that were invading the Netherlands?

I dunno. If rubbish English is a sackable offence then he should go. But Paul Merson would have been sacked years ago if that was the case.

I went with a classic today, Mac. In times of stress always stick with what you know best. That's my motto.

You just came up with that line then. It's a good one to live by though. I did in fact had a classic too.

This is true about Merse but he provides the comedy aspect that Cascarino does not. You can see why Sky might want to hang on to that for their serious football programmes.

I did in fact had? I've contracted the Cascarinos.

It's always a good idea to have a Premier League pundit who can't pronounce foreign names.

And I suspect he doesn't know the meaning of either grammar or syntax.

Perhaps the part of the brain that deals with such matters were destroyed during his wild years.

He has trouble pronoucing English names.

I guess that's why he is kept on, he's a perpetual reminder on what might happen if you enjoy drink and drugs. Scary thought.

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What on earth? Have you gone crazy mods???

Trust me, Mac, that deleted post was completely harmless.

Anyway, who are we going to sign beore the window closes apart from that Korean chap?

My prediction is.....



...nobody.

I don't doubt you Jack, they definitely have it in for you.

Going to sign someone Jack? It seems we need to sell five players before we think of buying anyone.

That certainly seems to be the case.

In an ideal world we'd get Cahill. I don't honestly think he's THAT much better than Koscielny but even a small improvement is welcome.

And what happened to our allegedly massive bid for that M'Vila chap? It seems to have died a death. Don't know much about him to be honest but it sounded like he was just what we were looking for.

And with Traore being turfed out on his ear surely a left back is essential. Because relying on Gibbs for an entire season just won't work.

I don't know much about him, supposed to be a powerhouse that can pass but I don't think we've got enough time to haggle which we surely will.

Cahill is ok but he his influence is going to be overrated based on his nationality. Still, at least it would be one of our first choice targets that we actually end up getting for once!