h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Bel, I feel like taking them all off and laying them neatly beside the computer, because El's laptop keyboard is misbehaving. I've spent an hour cleaning it out. But then I found that after rebooting, it worked perfectly. So it must be a software problem.

I once had to teach a senior officer in the Admiralty how to use a computer mouse - he's never seen one before (this was in the 1980s).

"So", he said, in his clipped Noel Coward accent, "How do I get the little arrow to move left and right?"

"Well, sir, you slide the mouse left and right on the desk."

(Sitting stiffly, he moves the mouse left, then back again right)

"Oh, yes, I see. So, how do I get the little arrow to move up and down?"

"Well, sir, you move the mouse up and down!"


I had to swallow as I watched him lift the mouse vertically off the desk.

Oh dear, we shouldn't laugh really because there are still people like that now, in all walks of life.

Websailor

Don't mock the afflicted


When I first joined hootoo, a friend asked me to look into his PS and give him my opinion of a marquee in there.

I looked and looked but couldn't find it.

'What does it look like?' I asked....

'Well it's a big scrolly thingy,' he replied....


'OOoooohhhh!'


I had been looking for a TENT!

re 42 (!)

i had a colleague just like that

my dad had an electric typewriter for almost 10 minutes before he claimed his old chopping board back

never had one meself, jumped directly from an old olympia to a pc

still have the olympia, by the way. my late dad's. family heirloom i could never throw out

What great stories.

I hated those IBM selectrics with the little s. They were slow...

But I got an electronic typewriter in the 80s. You could erase up to about 20 characters, I think that was how much memory it had...so you had to proofread fast...

The most difficult thing about teaching old typists to use a computer is trying to get the "snopake" off the screen where they have tried to make corrections.

I'm in Australia with a UK netbook. The @ is above the 2 on keyboards here but mine stayed where it was above the '. Now I have to really think at work when I send email addresses.

i am blessed in the way that i have to use different keyboards, keeps me alert

I know what you mean...ignoring that joke about the white-out on the screen......

Switching between keyboards is an interesting mental exercise, especially for touch typists.

my keyboard was playing up, the w,s,x were all sticking, its all ok now

i changed the batteries

colleague of mine got so mad with his computer not collaborating he hammered a fist on the keyboard and several keys flew through the office

when he calmed down me meticulously glued them on again with superglue

when he tested it some time later by carefully pressing on of the keys all the others followed

that was the end of that keyboard

Very funny stories, all. Keep them coming.

I did have people asking me where the "any" key was when the instruction asked them to press any key.
http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/anykey.jpg

I had an auditor once ask me could he have a look at the operating system. We have paid thousands for a new operating system for our minicomputer, and he wanted to check we had it and that it was on the premises. We tried to explain that it was inside the computer - he asked us to open up the computer and point to the operating system. Eventually we found a backup tape in a press that was in fact a backup of the operating system and said "Operating System" on the label. He looked at it and ticked it off on his list.

I love that any key.

I guess if it wasn't for my husband and youngest son and h2g2, I wouldn't know what an OS is.

The first electronic keyboards? We learnt on manual typewriters and had to adapt ourselves to an electric one. There was one electric machine for the whole class so we each had a short go on it.

Ah. High school physics class.

Since our teacher was a PhD candidate at the university, we had a computer hook-up to the city-block-sized mainframe downtown.

The hook-up consisted of a typewriter attached to a telephone modem - the kind where the receiver was jammed into a rubber sleeve.

I was forbidden to touch this. My teacher feared me...

Here's an interesting early one (watch the embedded video)

No keyboard, just turn the crank handle

http://www.computerhistory.org/babbage/