Journal Entries
Then and now
Posted Mar 21, 2007
Dear Barton,
March 21, 1987
Four months ago we met on line. Today we met face to face. I have the pictures to show it. If I had to list my one million expectations for this day, falling head over heels in love with you would never had made the list.
March 21, 2007
When we met, you told me you had lived alone for 20 years and that it would take time to open up. I gave you 20 years to break down those glass walls and let me in. Today would have been the day.
It has been 20 years and 2 hours since I found you and 11 months, 3 days and 20 hours since I lost you.
The only thing that is breaking is my heart.
I miss you so much. 
Why did you have to leave me alone?
Discuss this Journal entry [2]
Latest reply: Mar 21, 2007
Barton died tonight
Posted Apr 16, 2006
Darling,
I love you now and forever.
You will be missed.
Discuss this Journal entry [15]
Latest reply: Apr 16, 2006
Good-bye Dad. We'll miss you.
Posted Mar 22, 2004
Barton's dad died Saturday evening.
It was not totally unexpected. We both knew that he had been waiting to die for sometime now.
We both miss him but he lives on in our hearts. 
Discuss this Journal entry [4]
Latest reply: Mar 22, 2004
HOPE . . .
Posted Feb 25, 2004
it IS the worst thing to be without.
BUT with hope, the darkest day becomes bright. 
Thanks to all who have supported me through kind words, actions and unbelievable financial aid. I am happy to report that Scenario 8 is no longer on my list.
If push comes to shove, we have a place to go WITH the dogs. After making the suggestion that we might farm out the dogs to various people, I said “will you take it on faith that I can’t do that and that I need them with me?” The answer was “yes. I will take it on faith”. Amazing, simply, amazing! 
The immediate financial problem has been solved by a 
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU .
B is officially disabled, so he will be getting monthly payments from Social Security. This will allow us to stay even with everything important. 
If we manage to get a roommate, we might still be able to save the house. BUT, not, we have a place to go with the dogs. (notice a theme here 
)
We had another meeting at work and boss is still saying no more cuts. The department is stable. (well, I do beleive in 
s)
I went to the neurosurgeon yesterday and low and behold the tumors WERE on both films!! He suggests follow-up MRI in a year. NOTHING to worry about!!!!!! I wonder if it runs in families…I forgot to ask. I just found out that my nephew has the same type of tumor and they are following it the same way.
My blood pressure is in the normal range! I guess the 208/106 WAS stress related after all 
.
Only current down note – B still hasn’t been able to get a BiPap that can adjust low enough. He has tried 3 machines. They are coming out with another machine today, so I have my fingers (and toes) crossed that this one will work.
My dad once said, “you have wonderful friends”...and he doesn’t even know my internet ones!
THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL THE SUPPORT
BUT...my biggest thanks is to B for putting up with me through all of this. In my panic, I have struck him out here and in person. He did not deserve any of it (well, maybe just a little ).
All I can say is 
.
I LOVE YOU.
Hey, I love you even more then the 
. 
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Latest reply: Feb 25, 2004
Excluded, again...sigh
Posted Feb 14, 2004
It’s difficult being the only one in your circle of friends and family who has to work. You are stuck on a normal schedule. Get up at 4:30 or 5:00 am. Get dressed. Rush off to a job you hate. Come home twelve hours later to find out that everyone else is just getting started for the day. Attempt to unwind. Do household. Finish dinner at ten, let your food settle a bit and fall over by midnight. Wake up and start all over again. The weekend comes and you’re to poor to do anything and you’re on a different schedule then anyone else.
So you think of things to do. You have one and only one activity that can be shared with this group you live with. For weeks you have suggested a good old fashioned song circle. It is one of the few things that allows you to slip back to simpler less stressing times. So finally it happens except you aren’t invited. It happens during the four hours you have fallen over do to sheer exhaustion. You wander out at your normal time. Catch a tune or tune and the music stops. “She’s awake. Time for all of us to go to sleep.” Everyone laughs but you.
Oh yeah, Happy Valentine’s Day.
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Latest reply: Feb 14, 2004
Richenda
Researcher U223570
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