h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Alternatively still, leave her in the garage, go down the pub with your mates, and after a few sherberts drive someone else's car........

Max, if you get that coat I'll get me fence cutters out and it will not be pretty ...promise

Mornin' Magster! How was the visit?

Did everyone that descendend on 'chez Magster' take full advantage of your hospitiality?

Bushy,

Keep it quite, but I pocketed a couple of nice spoons on the way out.

There was rape and pillage and that was just the teenagers

Max, you were at the wrong house, I don't have any nice spoons, the children ate them all Take 'em back before they find out

Magster,

So this silver-plated 18th century punch ladle I hid up my sleeve isn't yours then? Good, I reckon I can get £200 for it!

Alternatively I may bludgeon johnston to death with it - it obviously has a stranger's finger-prints on it so will make the perfect weapon!

Magster,

BTW, we sometimes organise a few japes/spread gossip/tell outrageous lies via e-mail. If you want to join in, e-mail me at: [email protected]

I'll then send you a reply and CC the others.

Mornin' Chaps/Chapesses!

Word to the wise Magster, old stick! Get yourself a FREE web-based (Yahoo, Hotmail etc.) e-mail account to join any mailing list and in that way you can avoid downloading tonnes of unsolicited rubbish when we get a tad over-excited which happens on rare but all too inevitable occasions!

Did you mention w**k earlier? What do you do? V Max, Pat Pen, Brad Slovan, Doc Strangegloves, Alistair W and me do "bugger all" most of the time! ISn't that right chaps?

Bushy,

Only "most of the time"? I just do bugger all, period, whenever I can get away with it!

Thank you for the advice Bushy but I will refrain from taking it. Tried a feebie once, didn't like it. As to work, I do a bit of this and a bit of that, ducking and diving etc...nah, I do research for one or two "bodies", which I cannot talk about, contracts and all that, plus research that I can talk about, help Mr Magster with his web based porn empire and I do taxation consultancy and in my spare time I'm a mother, wife, sex slave, etc. What are you supposed to do Bushy?

IT Manager, whatever that is ..?

I spend most of my time doing Mathematics at the moment as I am doing a degree in Physics. Jolly hard w**k unfortunately as I am having re-learn virtually everything I know, mathematically speaking that is ... I also post my opinions all over the Internet with alacrity!

Sorry, but I just read "sex slave" alsmost immediately after "tax consultant" as one of your occupations? Hmmm... Would you think me bizarrely inquisitive if I ask a question?

IT Manager? Manager? There's no justice in this world, is there!

Magster,

I also work in IT. I'm a Project Manager, although that only means I manage the projects, not any people. It may well be the most boring job in the world, just below car-park receipt validation executive.

I have to say I NEVER tell anyone what to do, I just merely suggest they do something in a certain way by a certain time and if they do well great, if they don't ... ahhh who cares?

Bushy,

You sound like my kind of manager!

I think most of my alleged staff quite like being under my wing so to speak! There's no point killing yourself for w**k now is there?

In fact one of them went out in my car this morning and has not yet returned! I neglected to ask where and why he was going out and am now slightly concerned I may not see my flippin' car again ... Damn thing! I'm getting a bike!!

Please ask your bizarrely inquisitive question Bushy and quick please because I have to supervise nap time. I am agog

Good luck with the degree Bushy. I did my degree part time over four years whilst working full time and having a little 'un and I hated being called "mature". It is bloody hard work and I can empathise, mind IT manager...that's not w**k, is it

Right, can you explain whether or not an individual of particular specification were to rent his (or her?) house, would he (or she?) have to notify the Inland Revenue of the full amount received in rent or just the profit after the mortgage was paid?

Erm... A property owning "Capitalist Pig" friend of mine asked me to ask you!

W**k? No it is more like I "attend" everyday kind of thing ...