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A sleepy chameleon on a clock
To see a world in a grain of sand,
And Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
William Blake, Augeries of Innocence

Hello and welcome to the Pit of Wulfric.1


BORN: May 19702
SEX: Male
DWELLS: Essex3


This is probably the part where, traditionally, people write about their hobbies, musical tastes, and whatever else occurs to them. And so in deference to such traditions this space shall be no different.

The U.S. presidency is a Tudor monarchy plus telephones
Anthony Burgess
A sci-fi fantasy world

The being known by the name Wulfric enjoys a varied lifestyle which includes frequent trips to the Háqtafi'i Crystal Plains on the planet Phraxàlis in the Bropir Nebula where a tan can be picked up quickly during the twelve hours which make up the afternoons. It is highly recommended.4 Sometimes he can be found lurking around mid-to-North Essex in a sinister manner whilst wearing a cardboard vest, Size 12 galoshers, a purple strawberry-flavoured blancmange boating hat, plus fours and one yellow glove.6

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind
Albert Einstein

In the evening Wulfric likes nothing better than to hover two inches above the floor whilst playing strip scrabble with his wife. To make things more complicated the Bevington Gambit is usually employed with the added fun of the classic Stevenage Turn.7 This usually makes the game last a good two hours. Throw in some beers, lightly salted bar snacks and some whipped cream and it can almost turn enjoyable.

I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.
Groucho Marx

On not a few occasions Wulfric can be found scowling in supermarkets with a laden trolley giving people the evil-eye when they stop inexplicably and annoyingly in front of him, or when they block off an aisle with their trolley whilst they go into a mystic trance, and devising new and terrible ways of decimating the shopping public, who frankly deserve worse, whilst his wife finds new and more frightening ways of spending money on seemingly unnecessary items ("because it smells nice"). This vengeance on the shopping public will probably take the form of a molecular destabiliser with nuclear battery for easy carriage.

Organ pipes with Bach's face on them
The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought
Sir Thomas Beecham

Wulfric has a very eclectic musical taste: rock, classical, jazz, blues, world, opera, avant-garde, stupid, folk. Amongst his favourite bands and musicians are Tangerine Dream8, Penguin Café Orchstra, Vangelis, Bonzo Dog Band, Spike Jones, Led Zeppelin, King Crimson, Faust, Klaus Schulze, Can9, Brian Eno, Yes, Pink Floyd, Jethro Tull, Aphrodite's Child10, Grobschnitt11, Jean-Michel Jarre, Neuronium12 and so on. His musical taste is described by his wife as weird, bizarre, strange, and bloody-mindedly awkward. Wulfric disagrees with this summation of his musical tastes and prefers to see it as wide-ranging and interesting.

Reality has come to seem more and more like what we are shown by cameras
Susan Sontag
Library books on a shelf

He is also an avid reader of pretty much anything. History, science, sci-fi, fantasy, thrillers, Biggles, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, the Beano, paranormal studies, archæology, the classics, and so much more. His bookshelves (of which there are many) have a strong leaning towards history books, most of which are about the period 350-1100AD. When his wife moved in the overloaded bookshelves are weighed down even more with a strange mixture of paranormal/spiritual books and romantic girly-type literature (using the term loosely).

Learning without thought is labour lost; thought without learning is perilous
Writing with a pen

He also enjoys writing and is currently attempting to write a pointless and ridiculously plotted novel which encompasses all sorts of seemingly unconnected things; it will probably turn out to be a convoluted mess. Composing orchestral music is another distraction which occasionally gets done, but more often than not, doesn't on account of how long it takes. He would like to write an opera one day and has already had a bash but gave up. He also plays the clarinet and piano (or synthesizer on account of the flat being too small to fit a piano in) but not at the same time. Needless to say he plays both very badly even though he was classically trained on the piano and self-taught on the clarinet. He also attempted to master the Kalibarian13 nose-flute but had to give up for medical reasons.

All men are afraid of dying, this is the great law of sentient beings, without which the entire human species would soon be destroyed
Jean Jacques Rousseau

Amongst his many interests are astronomy (owns a telescope but can't use it where he currently lives without being accused of being a perveted peeping-tom), science (totally useless at this), history (particularly the so-called Dark Ages), the paranormal, language and philology, and the complicated subject of Assyrian sock weaving techniques. He also has a passing interest in the natural world, wherein he can recognise that some animals are birds, and other animals are not birds.

Nullus est locus domestica sede jucundior14
Marcus Tullius Cicero


There are Guide entries for more details of some of the bands mentioned above (none of which written by me).

A1018900 and A1012591
A593101 and A602236
A959952 and A419267


So far only one entry, but hopefully more will follow when time allows.



Because Wulfric has absolutely no idea of what he's doing, this site will probably be continuously under construction when he finally keels over at the age of 102, incontinent, senile and smelly. It is frankly a miracle that he has managed to put this much on without causing a worldwide disruption of computer networks, thus plunging the world into chaos and ultimately sending civilisation back into the Mediæval period.15


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This is probably the best thing to press if you want to see who's around.

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Roosta Towel by Amy

1Wulfric is an Anglo-Saxon name meaning "Wolf power". It was chosen for no better reason than I liked it.2And not constructed out of lego and discarded bits of old radios as some people think.3But would rather live in Cornwall, on the coast but near to the moors4"I can think of nowhere better to spend a month than Háqtafi'i with the warm hazy atmosphere, the wonderful Shirkellian wines, the beautiful Bropirí women, and the ideal length of the afternoons." Frêtidh Ja'qrâm5 in the The Achasis Times (34151 GSD)5Author of Places to Visit Without Being Killed in Some Fanatical Religious Uprising and Places I Vaguely Like6This is the High Ceremonial style of dress for the Ancient Hermetic Order of the Kqas-jir-Grôszni.7In order to invoke the Bevington Gambit the Pockleton Move has to be made first followed by the Toasted Cheese Sandwich Manoeuvre so that the Tonbridge Gambit is brought into play which then makes the Bevington Gambit possible. The Stevenage Turn is dependent on a six and a five turning up when the die are thrown.8A German band formed in 1967 by Edgar Froese and largely instrumental (synthesizers mainly) and still going strong today.9Another German band formed around the same time as Tangerine Dream. They still occasionally get together.10Greek band formed by Vangelis and Demis Roussos in the 60s.11Mein Gott! Another 60s/70s German rock-type band.12Spanish I think. Could be French though.13Kalibari is a tribal kingdom in Nigeria ruled by Amanyanabo (King) Amakiri XI.14No Place is more delightful than one's own fireside, Epistolæ ad Familiares15If he's not careful he'll keep on adding stuff to this until it's longer than War and Peace.


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