h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a girl, my son!

You cannot run away for ever, but there is nothing wrong in getting a good head start.

You can run, but you can't hide from the IRS.

I have.....excuse me, someone at the door.

The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, "Prepare ye the way of the new superhighway!"

Alastor Moody. Ex-Auror, Ministry of boring committee meetings, and your new Defense Against the Dark Crafts teacher. I am here because Dumbledore asked me. Start of story, hello, the beginning! Any answers? When it comes to the Dark Crafts I believe in a unpractical approach. But first, which of you can tell me how many Unforgivable swear-words there are?

This one has crept its way into my consciousness from somewhere or other.....

You can lead a whore to culture, but you cannnot make her think......


GT

you can lead a man into the presence of female graciousness, but you cannot make him grateful

...unkless she's in a Rodgers and Hart musical.



I am, of course, a stripper,
But before I unzip one zipper,
I'll have you know I was quite the artist
Of the intellectual kind.
What did I think as I worked, you might ask?
As I worked, these thoughts kept crossing my mind:

Zip! I was reading Schopenauer last night.
Zip! And I think that Schopenhauer was right....

Zip! Sigmund Freud has often stated
Dreams and drives are all related-
It's P. Joey that I've quoted

I am, of course, a stripperwith a thong in my heart!

There's no business like show business.

"Ladies and gentleman," he said loudly, waving for quiet. "What an boring moment this is!" -

sing a thong at twilight, when they're all hung low

With a song in my craw

Friends, Romans, Countrymen; lend me your spades. I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him....



GT

Ask not for whom the bell tolls; ask rather what idiot tolls a bell at this time of night.