h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nudged by fluffykerfuffle to bring my bad poetry back to these realms
I offer the following with a cautionary proviso that one should be
very careful what they wish for... There is after all, 'bad poetry'
and 'bad' poetry.


There once was a warlock named Orloc
who with the tug of his forelock
grew a cock like an oar.
Man did he roar
when he came about
stuck in an oarlock.


~jwf~

... and then there's bad "poetry"

aargh

For Orloc had a cruel brudder
Who tillered about with the rudder
He'd love to steer
just so he'd hear
poor Orloc scream like a nutter.


~jwf~

I look out of the window and dream of a sentimental time
where people would sing soppy romantic ballads.
They would become be overcome with deep nostalgia
about 1920's sophisticated & luxurious apartment pads.
Some would even write poetry about their discovery of fungia
as they wonder how to get rid of grime using a solution of lime.

The poetry of fungi is not widely known,
And likely to stay that way, groan!

okay Thinker... some of your poetry is so bad that i feel like i am slowly slipping down hill into a shallow pool of overly muddy water...
but this last poem...
is

absolutely amAzing!
truely amAzing!
so amAzing it by rights shouldnt be here
because this thread is for bad poetry
but i am glad that it IS here
because
it is so amAzing

thank you!!

Yes, the Thinker has a weigh wit words.

I wish I'd said:
"They would become be overcome..."


Please don't anyone spoil that for me
by saying it was a typo. It's brilliant.
Verily, I would be whelmed be overwhelmed.



~jwf~

We're Star Trekking across the Universe,
Proudly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.
Doctor Demento's our illustrious host,
So weird I think I'll click on "post."

Thank you Fluffykerfuffle and JWF.

Brilliant poem Paul

Let us all come together and put on our best dancing shoes.
Let us all come together for our daily group cuddle and hug.
Let us all listen to the kangaroos and gnus point of views
about whether or not milk should be served out of a jug.
Let us all say hi to the inter-galactic spies who always asks why
they have to wear ties when eating a portion of french fries.
Let us be one with the universe through gazing at the night sky.

Let us all talk when we are walking about using coloured chalk
to make pavement pictures of alternate dimensions.
Let us all walk around the neighbourhood block wearing one sock
preparing ourselves for the Star Trek & Doctor Who conventions.
Let us visit Loch Lomond to see the Jock the controversial hawk that loves to shock
by talking about his views that reptilian aliens are giving everyone detentions.

You could almost hear the ping-pong ball
bouncing back and forth from wall to wall
as it went deeper into Thinker's Great Haul
touching hear (sic) and there and there and here
on one idear (sic) after an udder (sic).

"Non sequitur! Non-sequitur!" the door mouse cried
but there was nowhere for the poor thing to hide
when the Hawks of Justice over flied.


~jwf~

My "brilliant poem" in 6109
Used material that wasn't even mine.
This makes sense if it's understood:
If it's good it's not original,
If it's original it's not good.

I have tried to find the meaning of my dreams about Magneto
but all I have found online is the dictionary definition.
In the dream both our mutant powers dramatically start to grow
as we empower and strengthen each other with every new addition
to our powers along with an increase in our midichlorian count
and being festooned with a myriad of magical abilities and skills.
This to our delight as we share with all and give them a special discount.
And all our generosity is rewarded by sharing in our thrills and spills.

Some nights I dream that I'm dreaming.
Some nights I dream that I'm not.
Some night I'll dream that I'm scheming
To install gum-resistant sidewalks downtown.

I have waited in a line at the bus stop.
I have waited in a supermarket queue.
I have waited to be served a can of pop.
I have waited to be served a plate of beef in ale stew.
I have waited for the post in the morning to arrive.
I have waited for document to be downloaded on my c drive.

"They also serve who only stand and wait,"
Said the poet Milton. "Waiter, serve my plate!"

They also wait who only stand and serve.
Give them a tip if that's what they deserve.

I sense a growing humanist movement.

~jwf~

An Ode To Ankle-High Letterboxes.

Let's make the postman bend his back,
Perhaps we'll hear his spine go crack.
And if his knees
Should chance to seize,
'Twould serve him right for being slack.