h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There was a young man from Dun Laoghaire
Who was wont to drink so much baoghaire
Never felt any pain
Or noticed the rain -
No wonder his outlook was chaoghaire!

The bad guy had magical powers.
He caused traffic jams at all hours.
A shape-shifting guy,
He could fly through the sky,
But melted when exposed to showers....

Come join with me in a pint or two at the pub.
We could even participate in the weekly pub quiz
of members of the village gardening club
who always have drinks filled with plenty of fizz.

The gardening club is so torpid,
They can't even grow a small orchid.
At roses they yawn.
Dandelions on their lawn.
Their meetings are usually aborted.

Life is so strange for those live off the land on the grange.
Life is so sweet for those who attend the Tolkien Meet.
Life is so wonderful for those who work at the Stock Exchange.
Life is so rewarding for those who are members of the social elite.

[There's no work to do at the New York Stock Exchange today. They're closed today, as is the New York City subway system. Manhattan's flood walls are 5 feet high, but the hurricane's storm surge could be 11 feet high. Do the math. The subway tunne's may very well fill with water and need to be pumped out.]

No work at the Stock Exchange today.
Hurricane Sandy is on his way.

On the Eastern Seaboard the waters swirl,
But unless I'm mistaken, Sandy's a girl.

I don't know which is which
But either way, Sandy's a bitch.

The wind doth blows north and we shall have snow.
The wind doth blows west and we shall have rain.
So what shall we do but watch our favourite TV show
eating our nibbles washed down with a glass of champagne.

Sandy hit the beaches near Atlantic City
Hard, wet, and loud. results were not pretty.

Trevor said there's going to be stormy weather
in and around Leeds Castle in deepest darkest Kent.
He'll put on his black leathers for his friend Heather
when he attends his elocution classes to improve his accent.

The Thinker thinks his poems scan,
as good as any poem can,
but I fear some lines are in distress
and think the Thinker scanned-d'-less.


~jwf~

JWF

The windy city is mighty pretty
with folks dressed in their finest clothes.
They so clever and very witty
whenever reciting homespun prose.

Hurricane Sandy brought wind and rain
From Green Bay, Wisconsin to Bangor, Maine.

Magneto is being chased by Raven Darkholme aka Mystique.
Juggernaut and Sabertooth are both having a very fierce fight.
Whilst Storm annouces that the weather will soon become very bleak
which she will do this by electrifying the air as she takes flight.

The eagle sawed a bit of wood
To make it's next from four by two
Where little eagle-ets
Would one morning come out to play

Two paths diverged in a wood one day.
I took the one less travelled by.
Mosquitos big as cows had their way.
Spent, in poison ivy did I lie.

I retraced my steps to the other road,
Where zombie hordes shuffled along
Toward mindless oblivion, disaster mode.
I sat at the fork and sang my song.

The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain.
The snow in Scotland stays mostly on the mountains.
The boat train will be travelling through the region of Lorraine.
and there is champagne flowing out of Lorraine's parks fountains.

I remember a long time ago when I had discovered an enchanted dime .
It gave me the supernatural powers to control space , time and reality.
So know I could magically transform, clean and banish all dirt and grime
whenever I sit with family and friends at the seaside for our afternoon tea.

I savored my tea by the beach,
Pink-frosted cakes within reach.
I looked out to sea.
'Twas calm as could be,
But then -- drat -- I stepped on a leech.