h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just what the intelectual ordered.
Actually these thoughts of mine won't accept any orders.
I wonder if there's a training programme available......
..............
I think I spot a marketing opportunity here.
Bring your unruly thoughts to us and we'll lick them into shape.

Unruly thoughts are just *begging* to be licked

Well this is the place to "stamp" out those kind of thoughts.

Did you order your thoughts online via Tesco or Amazon?

Working for the National Elf gets thru to one somewhat doesn't it?

on your return to the land of the guide

Thank you.
I managed to bulk-buy so I can afford to be generous
and spare a thought for the needy.

National Elf?

Is your boss now?

He meant the National Elf Service,
an elf delivered to your door when you need one.
I'm proud to say that Britain nationalised
and ry

So THAT'S why there are no more Harry Potters

The truth is that the cloning experiment got out of hand.
We were being overun by Harry Potters.
Surely you must have noticed dark haired specky boys
everywhere.

Happily for the U.S., none of them have come over to our side of the Atlantic. Apparently the Bushes are getting ready to propagate, though.

What you need is a good gardener (and sharp shears)!
I wonder which would be best, Alan Titchmarsh or that Charley Dimmock woman?
tough call,
we'll send you both.

Alan T is being a garden gnome at the moment, when he's not writing books. He's harmless.
I don't have any defence for Charlie, though.
Take her away!

Charley Dimmock always reminds me of two ferrets in a gunny sack.
Ok, to the US with her,
with no return address.

We already have all the ferrets we could possible need. Gunny sacks
are also not unknown here.

People use gunny sacks? Why not holsters?

I'm just back after a bit of a sabbatical myself, Mistadrong. Glad we reappeared around the same time!

Have you ever tried to keep ferrets in holsters?
They escape through the holes in the bottom.
Welcome home Shea.

You need to get the special ferret holsters! Very convenient! And you can do a quick draw of the ferrets!

Grabbing hold of ferrets quickly may result in bitten fingers.

Should we be discussing possible blood sports with a ?

Nice to see posts from folk who are back from secondments elsewhere

Breakfast anybody?

I should think a would be a knowledgeable expert on blood sports .

Black pudding or blood pudding as we know it
some liver would be nice as well with a of that
Hungarian Bull's Blood, or a nice Chianti perhaps
dthhh-dthhh-dthhh-dthhh
(difficult to do that Hannibal Lecter sound)