h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, where'd everybody go? Did they all run off 'cos they're scared of the Lewt?

This Lewt must be caught! Caught and Beaten about the head with a steak tenderising mallet!

Watch out though, those Lewts are tricky B*s*a*ds, and can disguise themselves as fridge magnets, Argos catalogues and Lewts!

Is it a lewd lewt?

Who can tell?

It takes a lewd lewt to know a lewd lewt!!

Can we first catch the lewt, then test it for lewdness. I reckon it's pretty lewd. The penalty of obscenity for a lewt of no fixed residency is removal of looting rights and being shot at by five untrained blind marksmen, all called Derek. Of course, for trained lewt musicians, who can play the lyre, the penalty is different. They are shot at by trained marksmen's blind labradours.

And then we shall serve it for luncheon! Hurray!

Did anyone see where I put down my neon telescope? I have a funny feeling the lewt just took it...

I shudder to think of what a Lewd Lewt could get up to with a Neon Telescope

Something incredibly lewd no doubt...
...why, next thing we know, he'll be the favourite to win Big Brother!

Yeah, well there's no talent invlved in winning that now is there!!


At least the Lewd Lewt has talent

And style... of sorts. If you're into lewts.

Lewts are, by nature, very stylish. They're at the very forefront of fashion! Why, did yuo know that Naomi Campbell was actually a lewt for 3 years before she became a type of soup?

...erm, "model", I meant "model"...

That's strang 'cause I've got lots of models that have ended up as soup

I don't know what you're talking about but I think I've posted in this thread before and that's as good excuse as any to do so again.

NO!

Never ever EVER know what we're talking about!!!

That would mean you know more than us

Free the soups! Get the lewts!

I know one thing for sure: German ecologists will never crack the solution to Time Travel, it's out of their field.

thank god, now our mooses will be safe for all eternity!

No! for the swiss rouge mad mad cow-desease scientists are close to cracking the secret to constructing their own eveil supermooses! They must be stopped! To the Moose-o-Copter!

Speaking of Moose(s), did you know that Alaska markets real Moose poo jewelry? I was told that Moose poo is basically sterile -- no worse than wearing a chain of compressed hay-balls around your neck or dangling from your ears.