h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't know...Surely there's a pirate port somewhere in Italy...

I don't know either... Maybe in Napoli... if I start flying now... But I'm not a parrot!

Maybe you could glue on some feathers or something...

Ok. I'll go and buy some feathers and glue on Tuesday.

And you might need a beak, too.

Right. To use on the crackers. I'll put it on the list.

And it might help if you learn to grip things with your feet.

Oh, that's the easy part.

Okay, then...



Really?

Hey! What's so about that??!!

Generally speaking, people don't tend to do a lot of gripping with their feet.

Got lots of practice in a hospital bed when I was little, things fell off the bed all the time, and since I had one leg in a cast from the toes to over my hip I couldn't get them by climbing out. Had to use the toes on the good leg.

Ah. Well, that could be a handy skill, I guess.

Footy.

Okay, it could be a very footy skill, then.

I'll have to find a very big pirate, if I'm going to sit on his shoulder.

Maybe he could carry you piggy-back or something.

Uhm... that doesn't sound very comfy...

No, I guess it doesn't, actually...

*sigh* Back to square one...