h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah...That does make it a bit more difficult to go out for pizza, then...

We could go out for...Umm...Dandelions, I guess.

Wrong season...

Well...We could stay in and eat peanuts.

I'm doing that already. Arachidi = peanuts in Italian.

Shouldn't we be bathing in champagne or something to celebrate?
And write a speech for the Artbardians?

Bathing in champagne? Sounds like fun.

Okay...Speech...

"Ladies and gentlemen...Boys and Girls...Arthbardians everwhere...We won! Woohoo!"

Right now they should all be singing the famous Ode to the Dominator - oh, shouldn't we be safe from having the Ode stolen?

Dare we put it up? If we do a full translation?

I don't know...There could be other world-dominator-wannabees out there...

Ah, pixies and gremows, we'll never get rid of them, will we... And who knows who else... We'll always have to watch our backs... No peace, no safety...

I plan to hire an official back-watcher to watch mine for me.

How will you know you can trust him?

I'll hire a back-watcher-watcher to make sure he does a good job.

Is this a Vootenian version of the lady and the turtles?

Umm...I don't know...Is the lady and the turtles a good thing?

You know, turtles all the way down.

Umm...Turtles all the way down...

Bertrand Russel held a lecture in a small town once on astronomy, just the basics where he explained about the world orbiting the sun, and the sun being a star out of many many etc etc. At the end a little old lady came up to him and hit him with her umbrella. "You scoundrel, you, telling such lies! Everybody knows the earth is flat and that it is held up by a giant turtle!" "Oh, and what's holding up the turtle then?" asked Russel. "Why, there are of course turtles all the way down!" said the little lady.

Ah, yes. That's exactly what this is like...Except not with turtles.

Do you read Stephen King? Because, somehow, this turtle thing reminds me of the giant turtle in It who was supposed to have vomited up the entire universe.

Yes, I read - or used to read - Stephen King. Can't remember any turtle in It, though. Wasn't there a spider looking thingie in it? Big nasty lady spider?

Yeah, there was the big, nasty, lady spider, but there was also the giant, multi-colored turtle. They saw it during that ritual-thingy...I don't remember what it was called...That weird locking-of-the-minds type thing.

I think I must re-read it... My favourite King is The Stand. Haven't read anything after The Tommyknockers.