Journal Entries
Conspiracy/Piracy Theories about the Italics' absence from H2G2
Posted Sep 18, 2003
The mysterious two weeks off for the italics is
probably not a big deal unless you're into conspiracy
theories--or piracy theories. 
(And speaking of pirates, Sept. 19 is Talk Like a
Pirate Day 
)
Okay, okay, I guess I *am* into piracy theories: the
italics are probably on a remote island somewhere
barbecuing fish and drinking 
rum. Their ship
is anchored just offshore so the rats in the hold can go
onshore and get a good tan.
What does anyone else think? Are the Italics somewhere
else? Are they being tortured in a dungeon by being
forced to w*rk? 
Are they sitting on street
corners holding tin cups because the BBC has secretly
let them go? 
Discuss this Journal entry [39]
Latest reply: Sep 18, 2003
Here comes Hurricane Isabel
Posted Sep 14, 2003
Hurricane Isabel is currently a few hundred
miles north of Puerto Rico (translation:
pork with rice), and will likely hit the East
coast of the United States sometime next week.
If Isabel hits the Carolinas, my thoughts will
be with Batty 
and her family, as well as
Tacsatduck's kinfolks.
If Isabel hits Maryland, there will be spillover
into Pennsylvania, where Lady Scott lives. My
thoughts will be with her and her family. Also
Jimi X.
If Isabel doesn't hit land until it reaches
New Jersey, my thoughts will be with Mr. Christopher
and George (babbling) Brooke, as well as Alexandra.
But if the 
ing hurricane dares to hit the
New York/New England area, great googly moogly!
Shea and Mr. Cogito and Tacsatduck and Galen and I
will be in deep .
Discuss this Journal entry [145]
Latest reply: Sep 14, 2003
Nothing at all (Paul's new, improved version)
Posted Jul 21, 2003
Nothing at all.
What a beautiful concept.
Take off your shoes, loosen your tie (or your girdle),
remove your glasses, and empty your mind. No, this
is not a revival of Sartre's "Being and Nothingness,"
which no one (not even Sartre) understood.
You don't need a high level of philosophical insight
to be here.
Unlike a certain *other* "Nothing at all" thread,
I won't charge you anything to come here. No Moxons,
no krugerrands, no trading stamps, no leaves.
And what do I offer you in return for your presence?
Nothing at all. 
Discuss this Journal entry [220]
Latest reply: Jul 21, 2003
The comic frenzy thread
Posted Jul 18, 2003
I was just thinking.....
Another researcher referred me to a couple of sites
that promoted calmness. They're nice, but is calmness
always the best choice?
I can't start a whole website, but maybe in this one
thread I can promote comic frenzy. Nothing evil or serious,
just good clean cream-pie fun.
Think frenzied thoughts.
Breathe shallowly for a moment if that's your choice.
Imagine that Bobo the 
is running at you with
a cream pie. You aren't unarmed, 'cause there's a table
with cream pies within easy reach.
So, go for it! Throw pies at Bobo! Squirt water at him
from the phony daisy on your lapel. A whole crowd
of Harpo Marx clones are in the hall honking their horns.
There's a very loud horn on the table next to the cream
pies. Squeeze the rubber and make it honk.
YAY!!
Discuss this Journal entry [47]
Latest reply: Jul 18, 2003
We've gotta do something about this Voldemort guy :-(
Posted Jul 14, 2003
Who does Voldemort think he is, anyway?
So many orphaned Hogswart students because of him:
Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom, Harry Potter,
Neville Longbottom. No, wait, I already mentioned them. 
That new "Defense Against the Dark Arts" teacher,
Delores (rhymes with clit*ris 
) Umbridge is a real
old witch. 
No, wait, she's *supposed* to be
a witch. All the female faculty at Hogworks are witches.
I'm just tired of seeing Harry get the short end of the
wand everywhere he goes. At home, he's pushed around
by Uncle Vernon and Aunt Peculiar--sorry, Petunia.
On the train to Hogwarts, he's threatened by Draco Malfoy
and his goons. At Hogwarts, he always seems to have professors
who have it in for him--Snape, Mad-Eye Moody, Umbridge.
Discuss this Journal entry [102]
Latest reply: Jul 14, 2003
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