h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't know where I am going?
I don't know where I've been?
I don't know why my rowan isn't growing?
I don't know how to grin at Lynn?
I don't know who I am any-more?
I don't know what to do when I'm feeling blue?
I don't know how to dance on the disco floor?
I don't know what to do if I am stuck in a queue?

Someone else may know these things, my dear,
But why not focus on the things you do know?
Life is often not too good at making things clear,
But you can always find a good way to go.

I remember to this day,
the white sands of Stornoway.
The sand stuck to my tyres
as well as my hammers and pliers.
It was after a long shower of rain
that fell on my jeep and plane.
Will power made my jeep and plane go
and take me to the beach cove grotto.
Oh I would wish for freshly caught fish
as my fishing rod goes swish.
I, along with my beau will go on the road again
to achieve our true purpose and Zen.

A day at the beach?
Oh, I beseech
You to tell us more.
I promise not to snore.

It's lonely here, but
The warmth of your tale
Pleases my heart and gut,
So bless you without fail.

Minds can have mountains
and some seem of gold
I'm reaching out for them
I try to take hold

but I am a fool
my mind's not a fountain
a dark shallow pool
replaces high mountains

NEW VERSION:
- - -
Minds can have fountains
and mountains of gold
I'm reaching out for them
I try to take hold

But I am a fool
my mind holds no mountains
a small shallow pool
replaces high fountains

Not that it matters
in fact it's quite cool:
Nothing's expected
from this village fool

I doubt that you're much of a fool.
You studied some great things in school.
Your mind is a tower
Of wisdom, to shower
Us all with ideas. That's cool!

I thank thee sincerely
my friend from the coast
your words warm most kindly
in your latest post

I wish I were free as a breeze,
To go where I want with great ease.
But now I'm inside,
From virus to hide,
And dreading the chance I might sneeze.

I dreamt that I have escaped to the Shetland Isles
to a 7 bedroom house that has quadruple windows.
It has picturesque beaches that lasts for miles
which has ceilidhs and many types of variety shows.

Each bedroom has their own walk in wardrobe-closet
as well as a bathroom and a dressing room.
There is room to play a double bass and a cornet
along with a relaxation room filled with aromatherapy perfume.

A house that has seven bedrooms
Is vacant in Forest enchanted.
The dwarves who lived there, one presumes,
By Snow White were truly supplanted.

I want to hear the roar of the waves
and watch the sea crash onto the beach.
Sea cliffs with their long and deep caves
as I sit down to listen to sea birds screech.

I will always be close to the North Sea
as I walk around the town of Lerwick.
Life on the Mainland isle is carefree
where get help from my DIY expert Mick.

The waves in he sea
Are roaring at me.

"Oh, put back that shell!"
They scold, "Ne'er-do-well!"

I turn and run back
To some old wood shack.

My shells I display,
All night and all day.

The sea can get mad,
But now I am glad.

In my dream, I looking out to the sea,
watching the sun setting slowly on the horizon.
I would be gently sipping a cup of tea
while wearing a shawl made of chiffon.

I see, in the background a lone yacht
and a flock of birds flying in the distance.
The view that I see is a well-known beauty spot
where the sight of auroras which pay off my persistence.

Birds do jigs with pigs
In my old-time fantasy farm.
Lambs and ewes make news
While arm in arm.

I got lost in the fog when having a jog with my dog.
It lead me getting lost in the park with my friend Tony Stark.
We both sat down and drank a flask of brandy eggnog.
He gave me a strange remark when look at Agent Clark.

Go and tweet now, when walking down the high street
as we use our smart phones to twitter about drinking best bitter.
Let's go to the department store to buy a wool blanket and flannel sheet
as we jog on the spot when trying to keep fitter with the pet sitter.

Has anyone seen Wolverine's imaginary friend?
He is invisible and goes by the name of Agent Bub.
He loves to troll Wolverine to the bitter end
especially when he's having a drink at the pub.

Bub is a member of the X-men and an agent of SHIELD
as well as being a member of Tony Stark's team.
Even though he's invisible, he can create a force field
even when he is fast asleep having a weird dream.

Wolverine's friend is a myth.
His favorite pie s Mrs. Smith.
He eats cold molasses
And likes Andre Agassi's
Serves against Margaret Court Smith.

[For the record, Margaret retired from tennis around 1976, when Agassis was six years old. Agassi won his first tournament in 1987. They probably played against each other]

Probably *never* played against each other.
She was old enough to be his mother,
Which might have made sense,
But Let's not be dense.
That would have been much too much bother.