h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Gives Cal a parranoid look*

Are you a err... Hero?

me




oh god no

*moves the curtain out of the way*

Are you sure? You don't look villainous

Hmmm....

*Hides superhero guild membership card.*

Guten Evenink Herr TB I vill be your evil Cherman female sidekick Frau Reefgirl

*Clicks heels*

How may I be off serfice

Experience? I was born and raised in London

*looks suspiciously at reefgirl*

She looks like the sort I wouldnt trust.... well, unless I was heavily armed

*tries to remember if hes heavily armed*

I base myself on zat vunderfull Cherman voman from ze Austin Powers filmz

*Smiles sweetly at Jack*

Ve haf vays off un arming you

Now I'm sure you do, would you like to see my latest inventions? they're out the back there *gestures*

hey hey do i get the part of your unwilling bride?? the one you marry as you tell your plans to the hero about to meet his doom in some obviously escapable piece of torture equipment

scruff x

I vould love to see your inventions

*Sidles toward the door.*

yep still here! don't want my hench then right be like that! best in' hench you'll get outside henchdom.

train 'em myself I do, they're bloody ruthless. Then again why would I want to sell it to a second rate villain 'oo can't recognise a good hench when he sees one!

turns to hench (which looks suspiciously like a Weasel in a ninja costume) "come on, let's go get a drink while this lot get their act together.

Wait wait, I can only deal with one person at a time. Right,

*Turns to Jack*

Sure, you can be my technical guru,

*turns now to mb*

Ok, I'll take a sample of your best henches, but only if you understant this is on a trial basis, if they're no good I'm not paying... even if they /are/ all dead when I've finished my trial</>

You, the german lady, wait a minute I'll return to you. You! The sexy lady with the welsh accent and the... nose... it's a nice nose, sure, the position's yours...

*Notices Charlie*

Charlie!!! You can share her job if like

*presses the button on his desk which activates the door lock*

Oi, you over there, yes you, no, not you you stupid stoat, you, the heroic looking girl. Where do you think you're going?

Erm...


*Looks over shoulder*


Me?

*in a voice not at all sarcatic*

Oh no, my dear, I meant another one of the myriad of heroic looking girls we have wandering about the place

*Stands and waits for TB's request*

I vill vait for your orders Herr TB

Ah, OK!

Would you mind unlocking the door, then?

Ah, no, you see I have been cursed with a voice which in no way sound sarcastic, even when I am in fact being sarcastic. I was indded talking to you

*Turns to Reef*

Ah, German lady, would you mind retrieving yon heroic looking girl and bringing her over here before she figures out a way to escape?