h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

nailed by my own parrot troopers. war is hell.

::Arives with a wing of C.H.E.E.Z.-C.A.K. attack helicpters, armed with 30mm depleated cheesecake vulcan guns and big T.O.E. missles::
YEE-HAW!!!
::Swoops in to Flight of the Valkaries::
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!

Re-inforcements! Yesssss! (Kicks aside a dead lackey) and, you got to use that great post to full effect.
Now, your mission is to cheerfully kill the lackeys from research and developement. Try to miss the attack dauchsund> the s and the thingite warriors. Oh, and see if you can spot the coffee pot: it's the prize.

What? This coffee pot? ::holds up a coffee pot::

ooo! could be, you'll have to check with Sir Loin , I've never gotten close enough to see it. (approaches nervously) can I touch the coffee pot? (stares in awe...)Oh, well, back to the slaughter.

touching the coffee pot results in its destruction

A huge explosion rocks the war zone, throwing R and Joe sky high. Joe lands safely on a near-by . R goes flying up, up, banks off one of Joe's attack helicopters, careens into another, ricochets off of it into another, then a fourth...
Ping, ping, ping...
after 30 minutes of bouncing around like a ping-pong ball, finally comes to land, butt down in the bucket.

and, after all that, it was the wrong coffee pot!

Viva la *@%$#&* Revolution!

~A portal from another space-time continuum opens and in strides the Trojan Cat II from the CAT WAR forum - built a bit like a Star Wars Imperial Landstrider (from the Ice-Planet Hoth - only in Dog form, a bit faster and not so inclined to fall over)~

~The Trojan Cat is armed with 2 x full motion, spring dampened turrets with Karcher high pressure water sprays; 4 x small bore, pneumatic Turd Hurlers; 1 x air-portable, water-cooled, belt-fed, tripod-mounted Curiositizer; 1 x servo-actuated, articulated tail; 4 x sets of permanently engaged tungsten-carbide claws and Chobham laminated armour plated hide.~

~Also equiped with four-legged, all-terrain drive with fuel injection, Six-way power bucket leather seats, Anti-lock brakes and cruise control and wicker sleeping baskets for long missions with nice wool blankets. A Bone and Chew store completes the specification. It is manned by a crew of six dogs and has the words `TIME TO PANIC` written in large friendly letters down its flank~

Can we help - we`re friends of Busterbone ?

~Inadvertantly steps on a whole Research and Development slave squad~

The more, the merrier. Just don't get side-tracked by the s. I know you want to chase them...but they're on our side.
Oh, by the way, if I do join the air force, do I have to wear the mustache? I'm a she, you see.
picks up a , hands him to an R&D lackey. walks off as the does its work.

*twiddle*

Mustaches are optional, but gung-ho do-or-die attitudes are not, with the ACF airforce Rambling.

~aims Turd Hurler at R+D slave~

*POK* .... turd hurtles across intervening distance hitting slave between eyes. Other R+d slave warrriors temporarily retreat.

~automatic Karcher canons start picking off random R+D targets one by one~

::: walks back in to the forum wearing an armour suit akin to the marines of StarCraft, with "Your a** here" painted on one of his legs, with an arrow pointing down to the foot, begins firing at the R&D Lackeys :::

*falls out of chair laughing, and those in her hall wonder what's wrong with her*

::: offers a hand back up :::

Thanks, love.

Wee-Haa!!! Strength renewed by the sight of all this sartorial splendor, sashays into battle, dodging the s and the Trojan Cat II. Decapitates lackey and chases after the retreating foe."Come back here, you Cowards!"

:pulls out dragon helmet:
:pulls head to tail and attaches it, pulls blade in until buzz saw is formed, gets in and turns on gas:
dragon roadster ready to slice,
get in the way to pay the price.

Giga Strike, we're gearing up to do battle on the no,no,no thread! Get yer transforming butt on over there and check out the action

Oh, nevermind! I got bored waiting for him, so I'm back for a little good, wholesome lackey-slaying.dodging around two huge robotic attack machines,
a host of s, a rabid attack
dachsund and various, glorious Thingites, Rambling mongers war.
(I just hope nothing large and metallic steps on me...)