h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[After they've hit each other a couple of times ...]

[New pattern: Y2K jumps, a wisp of fire spiraling out from him and leaving a trail of fire, and hovers in midair for a moment. He then smashes downward, creating a miniature earthquake]

*sighs*

I really should restrcit this kind of thing, but can't find it in my nonexistent heart to do so. I think I'll do this instead.

*Closes his eyes, and elongates his neck a surprising distance. He hisses occasionally, but mainly only moves his head from side to side. As he does this, Y2K and evillene suddenly become very tired. KL returns to normal*

They now feel as if they've been battling each other for almost twenty-four hours. The betting for which villain will pass out first may begin.

*Just for the sick humor of it, he turns on two giant, extremely hot light bulbs which float above the two villains wherever they go*

*evillene sways on her feet, and almost falls*

[evillene] man, it's hot in here.

*she shakes her head and swings sea's lightsaber at Y2K with renewed vigor*

*NYC puts on a pair of shades*

*evillene steals NYC's sunglasses telekinetically and steps on them*

[Y2K] Very good ... but can you get through this technique of darkness? En garde!

[All the lights dim, and Y2K disappears. Every five seconds, a stream of fire appears from nowhere in particular and heads straight for Evillene]

BTW, NYC, when you said something about describing ourselves, do you want just who we are in STUMPED, or our detailed life story? If it's the latter, I've already written a shortened version of it in the conversation "Natural History Museum" in this same message center.

*Watches Y2K and evillene fight. Thanks to his super-enhanced senses of smell and sound, and the fact that his eyes can see slight infrared motions, he can track evillene and Y2K as they run through the extremely hot darkness. And just to add some more sick humor to it, he begins playing "Albuquerque" over the speakers. He offers earplugs to everyone but himself, the combatants, and Red (who enjoys the song about as much as KL does)*

*evillene screams when she hears the albuquerque and deflects some of Y2K's fire blasts toward the speakers*

[evillene] BADBADBADBADBADBAD!!!!!!!

*evillene knocks Y2K off his feet with sea's lightsaber*

*Blows a whistle*

FOWL! FOWLFOWLFOWLFOWLFOWL!!! You aren't allowed to blow up any speakers, regardless of the music they may be playing.

*Snaps his fingers, and several hundred speakers rise out of the ground and begin playing the horrific ballad of the man who won the grand prize on a radio show, and was sent to a magical place he would never forget*

This is my favorite part of the song...the part where he's on the airplane.


...Well I've never been on a real airplane before, and I gotta tell ya, it was really great. Except that I had to sit between to large albanian women with excrutiatingly severe body odor. And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time. And the flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts. And the in-flight movie was "Bio-Dome", with Paulie Shore. And oh yeah, three of the engines blew out, and we went into a tail spin, and crashed into a hill side, and the plane exploded in a giant fire ball, and everybody died! Except for me. You know why? Cause I had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position...


*Surrounds the speakers with force fields that have been specifically created so that none of the members of STUMPED who underwent the torture would be capable of destroying it*

*evillene puts in a pair of earplugs and then takes out her agression on Y2K with sea's lightsaber*

*seaa sighs and wonders if she will ever get her lightsaber back*

*Frowns at evillene putting the earplugs in her ears. Decides that it isn't really worth it, and turns off the hundred speakers. However, he does pull out some headphones, and listens to it himself. He mumbles the lyrics, until he comes to a different part*

No, I change my mind. *This* is my favorite part!


"...But first I decided to get some donuts. So I got in my car, and drove over to the donut shop, and I walked on up to the guy behind the counter, and he said, "YEAH, WHATTAYA WANT??" So I said, "Ya got any glazed donuts?" He said, "No, we're out of glazed donuts!" I said, "Ya got any jelly donuts?" He said, "No, we're out of jelly donuts!" I said, "Ya got any bevarian cream filled donuts?" He said, "No, we're out of bevarian cream filled donuts!" I said, "Ya got any apple fritters?" He said, "No, we're out of apple fritters!" I said, "Ya got any cinamon roles?" He said, "No, we're out of cinamon roles!" I said, "Ya got any bear claws?" He said, "Wait a minute, I'll go check..."


Sorry, I get carried away. Y2K, evillene, continue fighting if you wish. Don't kill each other, though. I'll need you two for the final stages of my plan. Meanwhile, I need to go to the Aroma Cafe's Majick Forest to make some new friends. Excuse me for a bit...

[evillene] ya know, Y2K, it's a lot mor interesting to fight you when you actually fight back....

*knocks Y2K onto his butt again, just for the fun of it*

KL, I just want a paragraph, like the definitions that are in the current STUMPED page...

*NYC looks down at his smashed shades, up at evillene, and kicks her*

*evillene glares at NYC, and kicks him back. then she kicks Y2K. then she kicks them both again just for fun*

[The cloaking device finally fails, revealling that Evillene has been kicking -- a protocol droid]

[Droid] Stop it!

[Thin air, Y2K's voice] Hah!

[A burst of fire comes from the source of the voice]

Okay, NYC, how about this: The Krylma Leader-born of the once noble Atlantean race, this criminal genius is now more reptillian than man, thanks to his centuries of biological, alchemical, and magical life elongating/gene splicing experiments. Currently, he boasts his greatest evil power is the ability to think through any given situation, and make it the situation he wants it to be. However, his crime syndicate, consisting of more or less loyal supervillains (STUMPED), not to mention his knowledge of science and magic, and his deathly lizard-like fighting abilites can make him a thorn in the side of good in almost any situation.

Are you looking for something like that, NYC?

*Doesn't wait for an answer. Instead, he pushes a button on a remote control, causing a crate to rise from the floor*

This was stolen from CLI. Can someone help me assemble it? It isn't necessary to any evil plan, but it will cause me a great deal of rest at night.

*sea looks at the crate*

[sea] err... looks like... i have no idea...

*evillene pushes her out of the way and begins to assemble the device easily*

*NYC goes to help sea*

umm... the instructions start out in English, but then they go into French, German, Chinese... man! they expect these people to be geniuses!

and thanks KL! If you go to my site, you'll see the STUMPED page I'll soon give you the guideML format of... and I'll need:

Kudos
Corrupt One
Entity
Jezzrian
Lord Byancbaldish
Redfish
Indi
Emar and Zeb
Psycho Girl
Lord Lunatic

attention villians! if you see your name here, give me a description of yourself! THEN and only THEN will you be added to the STUMPED page!

*evillene finishes setting up the device*

[evillene] wow, impressive. what is that called again?

[Y2K] I look like Darth Vader with a black tie. All the other clones look like YK and wear uniforms the color of their lightsaber blades. For hairstyle descriptions, see my page.