h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*NYC thanks the higher dieties that SOMEBODY was thoughtful enough to install shag carpetting*

but it still hurt...

*NYC notices a comfy chair sagging due to weight, but nobody sitting in it*

...or is there...

*NYC tosses a grenade into the chair*

*grin*

*and NYC looks startled as the grenade flies back toward him and into his pocket*

*...with all the rest of the grenades he has in there...*

eep?

*NYC takes a running jump at the seat, kamikaze-style*

*a scream is heard as NYC tackles the chair and its occupant, then the grenade detonates*

*evillene laughs as she sees the charred NYC and is glad she put an invisible sandbag on the chair*

the other grenades... they didn't go off! YES! HAHAHahahahaha...

*NYC dances around the forum, making evillene laugh even harder. NYC, in such a good mood from the near-miracle, hugs evillene*

BOOOOoooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOMMM!!!

*sea falls to the floor, laughing at the two charred villains*

*evillene pushes NYC away and pouts*

*NYC is no longer in such a good mood, needless to say. He pulls out some bandages and proceeds to wrap his left wrist. He then looks at the rest of his arm... then the rest of his body...*

I think I'm going to need more bandages...

*sea takes pity on NYC and gives him a healing kiss*

*evillene pouts some more*

*NYC decides to give evillene some contructive criticism*

oh c'mon! pouting isn't going to get you anywhere! now threatening, on the other hand is *kick* ow!

[The clones are content to watch Evillene and NYC beat each other up]

[more like watch NYC and the thin air they assume to be evillene beat each other up*

[more like NYC slashing wildly and in vain at the thin air they assume to be evillene]

hold on a sec...

*NYC runs out the forum, leaving evillene quite bewildered*

*NYC runs back in the forum with infra-red goggles*

ahh... much better...

*NOW the fight is on*

*evillene decides to try out a new trick she learmed*

*suddenly, evillene's body goes room temperature, and NYC can't see her. this lasts for about ten minutes, then evillene is 98.6 again*

*NYC is very confused*

wouldn't it be a lot easier to just turn the temperature of the room up? *kick* ow!

No. I like my rooms kept at a fairly cool temperature. So does Fiver. And so does the Chameo.

*Motions to a door marked "bio-lab A". Don't go in there yet. He hasn't eaten anything for a few hours.

*NYC, against all forms of common sense, goes into bio-lab A. Several screams and growling and sounds of equipment being destroyed are heard by the other villians, followed by an eerie silence...*

*sea raises her eyebrows*

[sea] dare i ask?

[Y2K] Not unless you want an answer ...

Unless I miss my guess, NYC has just been mauled by a giant genetically altered chameleon. His name is Chameo, and I've been working on him since I found the chameleon near the Masque's statue. I suppose I should go see if NYC's okay, but I feel that we'll receive an answer soon, anyway.

*sea looks slightly concerned*

[sea] well... i do have a talent for talking with animals...

*sea opens the door and looks at the chameleon, which stares at her. sea creeps in far enough to drag NYC out the door, then closes the door behind her*

[sea] NYC? are you okay???