h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[sea] hmmph. too late for other people to join in? elitist swine...

No, seriously. I can't see any way for others to enter the forum without breaking any of the rules of continuity. Besides, there's some kind of field keeping people in, so I doubt you'd want to join in anyway.

[Y4K] Awww.

*sea shrugs*

[sea] i was just kidding anyway. it's just that when people say, "you can't join" it makes people really want to, just to prove them wrong... or maybe that's just me.

...

as i thought.

Well, of course.

[Y2K] Um. Now what?

Anyone care to join me in the construction of my newest toy? I've got my very own "OmegaMatic." It slices, it dices, it causes a 100,000 light year diameter explosion! I'm going to hold the galaxy for ransom.

[evillene] cool! can i play with it?

[sea] not on your life.

[evillene] i wasn't asking YOU.

[sea] doesn't matter. i'm older than you.

[evillene] two minutes doesn't count!

[sea] does too.

[evillene] does not!

*they start fighting- don't you love the holidays?*

I'll let you play with the Tantalus Rays, if you want. They're destructive enough to blow up your standard M-Class planet. Probably more, but I'm not sure.

In any event, my Omegamatic will be even more destructive an Armageddon Machine than the original was. First of all, I'm not going to have it stay in just one place. As soon as the construction is almost finished, I'm going to have it start moving. I'll have more droids there to guard it. And I've been promised the use of several Shikadi Warriors from The Grand Intellect. Add to that an arsenal of defense systems powerful enough to stop a fairly large fleet of Donut Federation ships. The Mangar, The Esirpretne, The Millenium Bug, The CLI-Mini UFO, Most of Professor Tonks pathetic fighters, the Defense Fighters on the H2G2 Space Station...none of them have the capabilities of breaching my defenses.

And to top it all off, I've gained the full support of all the major super-villains outside of h2g2 but within our reality. The Rock-Buns, The Sunkists, The Horrible Somethings, Atilla The Hut, The Pizzars,...the list goes on.

No one could stop me without breaking continuity. But should people break continuity, I'll...I'll...

Okay, now, I know it pains me to say this, but...and, as much as I'd hate to have it done to me, for this is indeed the most insidious weapon we have at our disposal, should some of the heroes attempt to break the rules of continuity (especially Giguschild), I'm authorizing the usage of...*Shunning*.

*A visible shudder moves through the assembled people*

Should shunning become the necessary option, I shall say "Commence Plan B For ." I know that this is a very serious and drastic measure, but we can't have people coming in and just instantaneously installing sound systems, now can we? They'll also need a reasonable explanation of how they entered the forum, barring teleportation. But remember, only will shunning be an option if the person breaks continuity, and only I can commence the operation, depending on the circumstances. On a related note, all of you will be expected to abide by continuity as well.

But in any event, this shall be a victory for us. The assembly of the OmegaMatic shall commence soon.

[All six] [in stereo] Cooooool!

[Y2K] Will there be ANY weaknesses?

[Y3K] Besides your mercy?

[Y4K] Of which you have none?

[Y2C] But if you did, it would still be a weakness?

[Y3C] And a fatal one as well?

[Y4C] Even though this is only academic since you don't have any mercy?

You six are pathetic. [turns to KL]

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must return to the Unknown Regions for several months. I do not know when I'll return, but when I do, I expect to have a considerably greater number of allies. [exit]

*evillene looks terribly excited*

[sea] KL, i have some acolytes dedicated to my service that are cloaked in hind's hair, so they can't be seen... should you require their services, i'd be happy to help.

is ANYONE else worried by the fact that the guy with three accounts that carry 6+ characters each just said he's going away TO GAIN MORE ALLIES?!?!

I'd say that the "Six Clones" account has precisely six, the "Ancba" account is two, and "YK" is ... er ... usually nine, but depending on any minor characters that come up it might be anything up to twenty-seven and a half, but that's just deflecting the question.

As for how I keep track of them all? Same way authors keep track of their characters. Most of mine have the same personality anyway.

i stand corrected, but that still doesn't disprove my point.

I never said it did.

well... um... good then.

[After a moment, nothing continues to happen]

As per your previous questions, yes the OmegaMatic will have weaknesses, and my mercy could be a fatal one if, hypothetically, I had any at the time. There will only be one way to stop the OmegaMatic.

*Rolls a table into the room, showing a hologram of the OmegaMatic*

The only way to disable it would be to destroy all of the main machines running the ship from the inside. The only way into the ship is an extremely dangerous route through an ion ventilation system which, unfortunately, is necessary to prevent overheating over a period of several days. After going through the ion ventilation systems, any would-be-hero would need to live through the Security Center, and then a terrifying ride through the auxiliary elevator shaft. This would take them to the main level (but not the necessary level) of the Omegamatic. From here, they would need to bridge all four of the defense tunnels, and destroy the primary machines on the level, each of which, while not necessary for the destruction of the Galaxy, would be required to make it as impressive a blow as it is: the Regulation Systems Control, the Neutrino Burst Injector, The Brownian Motion Inducer, and the Energy Flow Systems. These machines keep the main elevator shaft locked, so if all of them were to be destroyed, it would allow the potential hero to enter the shaft and proceed to the next level. After a nerve-wrackingly dangerous ride through the main elevator shaft, they come to the Gravitational Dumping Hub, one of the most hard to escape sectors of the entire ship (what with the lack of gravity at some times followed imediately by gravity that would make people living on Saturn flinch). After that, they would have to pass through the Auto-Defense sector, and the Tantalus Ray chambers, both of which will be guarded by the most insidious creatures I can get my hands on. Then the Galley must be breached, although the heroes probably won't have much trouble there.

Assuming the heroes aren't dead by then, they'll have to make it through the entire next sector, where they will attempt to destroy the Quantum Explosion Dynamo, although I sincerely doubt that they could acheive that. It's made out of material that a light sabre could not pierce, a sleetzar could not melt, and a lazer beam could not phase. Assuming they save the galaxy, I'll just activate the Auto-Destruct sequence, and the heroes will somehow have to get all the way back through the ship within less than three minutes.

All in all, I think that I can guarantee at least a few minor victories in this next plan. I'll keep all of you posted on the progress.