h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And here am I. [looks into the cabinet] Hmm. Not much.

[Y2K opens his. A swath of papers fall out]

[Y2K] Excuse me, Sir, but oughtn't you get to getting another cabinet for me?

[He turns to his left and sees eleven other cabinets]

[Y2K] Er ... nevermind.

~They pass through an entire room full of filing cabinets with labels like "The Masque A-C" (etc), "Presidential Bomb Scare", "The Raven", "Hangar 41", "The Rodentar - Mangol Alliance", and many more files related directly to the Masque of the Red Rejection eMail~


Hm. Looks like I've kept some paper pushers employed. That's my good deed for the millenium.

By the way, if anyone wants a tour of Planet X, please visit http://www.h2g2.com/A461521 . The tour begins at Cirith Masque.

* As the waggon continues onwards through the legal department, UH smiles to himself. He knows that no judge in the land will prosecute CHOPPERS. Especially not now theyre back in the right. [See his posting in hangar infinity]*

'Anyway. The police wont press charges. CHROME and BED are on our side. hehe'

We can always prosecute in Civil Court, the police have no swing there. Besides, BED is a defendant, and therefore not capable of taking police action on the case.

[NYC] what? did everyone just copy my joke? it's not even funny now; you completely killed my earlier witty comment! I'm... I'm OUTRAGED! you--

*evillene smacks NYC*

[evillene] shut up and get over it, dork boy.

[NYC] why you--...

*the large mining cart is nearly rocked off the tracks by NYC and evillene's fighting*

"Please keep all arms, legs, and other body parts within the cart. Do not attempt to rock the cart. Do not bring any food or drink along on the ride. And please, no flash photography..."

*KL turns of the automatic messages because it's annoying*

We're almost there.

*The cart emerges into a large cavern with several cells (including a giant bird cage hanging from the ceiling), electric chairs, vats of acid and magma, buzz saws, lazers, pit and pendelums, sensory deprivation chambers, chambers from which the sound of "Albuqurque" can be heard, racks, gallows, and all of the other devices attributed to torture*

This is the still incomplete torture chamber. I'm still having parts of it drilled out to make it bigger, and to accomodate for more machines. There's one particularly that I want. Can't remember it's name, though. It's one of the devices from Zork Nemesis. In any event, it's not complete. It's efficient, just not complete.

"The Totemizer"? Or is that in "Grand Inquisitor?" Sorry, I've never actually played any of the games.

*evillene looks forward to having access to a torture chamber, and continues to kick NYC's butt*

Yes, The Totemizer is from Zork Grand Inquisitor. It's right over there.

*Motions to a strange looking machine, where a long line of people wait. A man wearing a badge that read "The Inspector" walks up*

INSPECTOR-Number 57? 57?

*A person walks up and hands his ticket to the Inspector*

Inspector-Alright, then. In you go, 57.

Person-What, is that it?

Inspector-What do you mean?

Person-Don't you have to read something, or say something?

Inspector-Yes, I say 'In you go, 57', and you go in.

Person-Well, can I at least have a hug?

*The Inspector gives a baleful stare to Number 57, shrugs, and gives the person a hug. After the hug, he pushes the man into the Totemizer. A few moments later, a small, round disc of metal falls out*

KL-Yes, that is the Totemizer. I'm refering to a more primitive weapon, though. It's found in General Thaddeus Kaine's torture chamber in the game Zork Nemesis. It's really neat, but I can not remember the name of it (which is why I've been unable to order it).

erm, evillene? I think you are a bit confused about who's winning...

[evillene] not a bit.

no, I swear. I mean, your judgement may be a bit clouded with your face wedged in the corner there...

*evillene growls and flails unsuccessfully*

[evillene] bully! picking on a defenseless fema--MMPH!

*evillene is cut off as NYC pushes her face harder into the corner*

since when were you defenseless?

[evillene] DAPH MMPH UNGH FMURGH!

[sea] she says, "that's not the point!"

[NYC] I'm beginning to believe that the only point is whether or not you're winning, which you're obviously not. on a lighter note, you DO look rather comical stuck in the corner like that...

*evillene kicks NYC in the gut with her free leg*

[NYC] ow! there's just no winning with you, is there?

[evillene] I never mentioned offensive capabilities, did I?

[evillene] never say die...