h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*the lights go out... the lift gives an eerie creak... lots of screaming ensues*

*sea and evillene scream and clutch each other tightly*

[sea] evillene, i can't breathe.

[evillene] i don't care.

*evillene squeezes tighter and sea begins to wheeze*

*NYC fires a grappling hook up the elevator shaft. HE straps himself on the rope, and looks towards the other frightened people*

I'm blowing this joint. anyone wanna come with me?

*Uncle Heavy steps forward*

not YOU... anyone else?

*sea grabs hold of NYC*

*evillene tries to, but sea kicks her off*

[sea] you can fly, dork.

*evillene looks surprised*

[evillene] oh yeah.

*the three villians zip out the lift through the hatch at the top. the lift gives another stressed squeal before falling one foot and catching itself again*

[Y2K] Gaah! we're still too heavy!

[Y3C] we must jettison another person! who'll it be?

*all the villians stare at Uncle Heavy*

[UH]what? what?!

*Yowuzupman and Lord Byancbaldish pry open the doors and give UH a shove. with him gone, the lights go back on and the elevator starts descending normally*

[CONTINUITY: No I didn't]

[CONTINUITY: fine, whatever. Y3K did]

[Righto.]

they all look the same from up here!

*Slaps his face. Glares at everyone*

Didn't I distinctly say that this was an escalator? Why open the doors on an escalator? And *NOW* UH has a legitamite reason for battling us. Well, maybe just Y2K and clones, really, but it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to battle the rest of us.

*Gets ready in case UH teleports back in. Wonders if he should arm a few weapons, or arm a temporary peace treaty*

*A clunk can be heard as a magnetic grapnel attaches itself to the lift. Presently, UH appears at he doors*

Now, I'm a reasonable man. I don't have any quarrel with any of you except the clones. Do you have a torture chamber? Come on, you must have a torture chamber. Perhaps we could go there for some demonstrations

I've got a question. Does Yowzupman work for STUMPED, CHOPPERS, or both?

[Now you've made me Zorking forget!]

[Y2K] It wasn't me!

[Yowuzupman is evil, I think, so STUMPED]

*NYC and sea are dangling up on a rope on the top of the elevator shaft*

[NYC] uhh... what do we do now?

[sea] I don't know, the movie didn't exactly explain this part...

[NYC] crap.

*smirks*

[smirks back]

[The clones frown]

*sea sighs, then teleports herself and NYC out of the elevator shaft and back to the tour*

[sea] all better.

UH may have a legit beef with me, we never finished the duel on my homepage...

Hey UH, if you think this facility is neat, you should see the STUMPED compounds on Planet X. They're really extensive. They're not finished being built yet, but I'd give 'em, oh, a week.

[Y3C] [Sideshow Mel impersonation] Why does that not bother me?

[Y2C] Because you're a member of Stumped.

[Y3C] Oh okay cool.

[Y2K] Hey! That's YK's catchphrase! [slams Y3C against the back of the wall] Oh. No, wait. You're Y3C. Never mind.