h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well - given the price it doesn't take that much to equal 400 per annum. If one packet of cigarettes costs roughly 1.5 ....

*Goes off to be a patron of the coffee machine*

Blimey - none better at spending your money than your family, is there? See here - how often have you used that fireplace that I got you for Christmas 2 years ago?

P.S. Quick look over the Chrissie pressie pile reveals that Mary is this years winner of the best present

We are having to sell our Aga as part of our house. I have thought about chaining myself to it but it might be a little hot

Shh - Don't encourage her. There's no way I could get a cooker onto a Ryanair flight!

Don't you think it would be more practical to buy one over here? That surely would offset the cost of flying it over!

*Shouts* Agas are absolutley brilliant! Buy Wandrin' one for Crimble!

Are you mad - they start at around £3000 exclusive of installation. This seems a bit excessive for a range that might only get used one week a year - and then probably by me .
No - I'm afraid we'll just have to struggle on with a 20+ year old gas cooker and a good excuse to eat out.

Are you implying that your gorgeous mother isn't worth the expense??!?

Blast - I was trying desperately to form some "home on the range"/ Wandering star type pun but nothing comes to mind

Don't say that you have run out of puns DJ. That would be a national tragedy!

I was going to suggest that the Doctor might be pleased at the pun failure, but as he doesn't seem to have been around here for a while it probably won't affect him.

oh he has been on leave for a few days - but he is back today I think.

Did somebody mention my name?

Ahhhh Dr Wonky Mungbean I presume!

*nods it in on the near post*
Oh wait, this conversation appears to have nothing at all to do with football.
*gets substituted*

A game of croquet, anybody?

'''''U''''
''U'''''U'''
'''''U''''U
''U''
''|'''T.

Wait - that is upside down.

seeing as this is a nonsense thread can we use flamingoes and hedgehogs?

Absolutely - whose flamin'go is it?
(And are hedgehogs any defence against a fall in the stock worth of bacon?)

I see your humour is moving into the realms of the surreal Dunx.

I was a big cheese in the Croquet Club of the Royal and Ancient Hospital of St. Bartholomew.
I still have our tie - Dark green, with pink flamingos and Barts shields all over it. Lovely it was.