h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Exhorbitant fees? Pah! Pah! And thrice Pah!

I assure you that I fully intend to be struck off by 2005, in Rio by 2007 and the mastermind of an international mungbean smuggling scam by 2010.
I'll have no need for fees - Consultations for friends and family will be free. Mind you, I'll probably be a bit rusty by then - I suppose it is a bit like riding a bike though. A cut here, a stitch there, yank on that bit, clamp this bit. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Ah yes - but the taxis in Dublin are on strike (or were recently) and the trains aren't running to schedule either due to an overhead power line being neither.

Surely you could have gone by horse - you little urban cowboy you!

Hmm - it's a bit marshy between home and work, and Irish horses these days are all so highly bred that there isn't a decent bog-trotter amongst them

Ho Ho Ho!

Oh tragedy of tragedies. Hell on Toast!!! My second choice for Young Snugfit's horses to follow has just romped home at 9-2!!

*belch*

Oops, pardon me.

Thank you for that!!!

No it is ok - my nap came in too! Desperately short odds though - no value unless you backed it this morning first thing.

Madam, I hope you are not talking about gambling.
[said in Hinge and Brackett type voice]

Of course not - because the wasting of money like that is morally wrong. *looks stern*

Drinking is only wrong if you are a boozer,
Celebrity is only wrong if you're a schmoozer,
Gambling is only wrong if you're a loser.

Is it wrong to shoot Clinton?
He keeps driving past and his cavalcade is making an awful racket.

Do you think he is lost? It is quite worrying that he keeps on driving past your office.

Actually the locals are having great craic with him - apparently they don't have roundabouts and potholes in the states, so we're showing him all the ones here....could take all day.

LOL! Excellent - can you imagine what happens if the front car of the cavalcade miss their exit and try to go round again. It would result in total and utter grid lock!

Indeed - do you know they actually flew all the cars in from the states. A massive transport plane landed last night full of Limos and Jeeps...

Good to see the yanks once again doing their bit for the environment!

Don't get me started on Yanks and the environment.

Is this a private conversation or can any nutter join in?

Oh - this is pure "care in the community"...i.e any nutter can join in.

Bill update: He picked a rotten day to be here - 'tis raining. Imagine that - how unlucky would you have to be to get rain if you visited Dublin in December