h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How in heavens name did that get delivered Ham ? hahaha Someone up there must love me ,nothing short of a miracle hahaha Love Pinks XXX

Pinky, we've got snails in the house never mind the garden, they come out in the shower room at night, I just stood on one in my stockinged feet honest! I've just sat and watched Godfather 3, honestly goodness knows why, starving again today, but I'm noticeably more awake in the evenings, odd but true when I'm starving. This is Dennis's photo, brilliant really, I can't for the life of me remember the name of the band but I think I'd heard of them, they're current, though the photo is quite old, they just got their eye on it and liked it. I'll do some research if I find them I'll let you know. He was showbiz photographer for the News of the World in it's heyday, honestly he knows everybody, he's a great raconteur as well. http://www.twmuseums.org.uk/laing-art-gallery/whats-on/exhibitions/all-that-is-solid-melts-into-air.html I've been gardening all day, I'm trying patio tomatoes as well as my favourite Alicante, so I've potted the patios, Tumbling Tom they're called into big pots and troughs, I'll try leaving a few in the greenhouse they might ripen quicker. Reet I must get to bed, if a message doesn't send try going back quick, it'll still be there, and send it again, it's worked for me the last couple of times saved me cursing, Love, Ham.

Booger me got it straight away, Black Box Recorder the band is called, England Made Me is their album, don't know anything about them though, enter at your own risk! Love, Ham. http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=adrian+street+album+cover&view=detailv2&&&id=0B1632B097283243FF27009CD78505E31DCC308E&selectedIndex=0&ccid=BoO9Q9pP&simid=608005724297823946&thid=JN.yh%2fVhqSjdrEpiTP9CJjJYQ&ajaxhist=0

Well thank you Ham ,what brilliant research ,now I've heard of Adrian Street ,but honestly ,I've never heard of the Black Box Recorder. The photo is rather special though,the contrast of occupations ,lovely concept. Thank you for those links Ham.

Snails in the bathroom ,I tell you no lie Ham ,I found one in the kitchen last night ,small ,but nevertheless a snail ,must have crawled in while I was watering the hanging baskets and tubs . I nearly died. I can't stand a fly in the house but a snail ,in the kitchen ,I disinfected the whole kitchen. I'll put a trail of salt outside of the backdoor I think ,I don't care if the neighbours think I'm casting spells ,I can't have snails walking around the kitchen. I can't believe you stood on one ,good job you had your socks on Ham ,that'a all I can say ! Beggars belief ,the pure cheek of them ,like they haven't got enough room outside for heavens sake. I'll be keeping watch here trust me !

Right ,it's 8:20 am ,I must get out and get some shopping done ,it's like Old Mother Hubbards in those kitchen cabinets ,then back home to get some work done ,weddings, three of them ..the fun never ends hahaha I'll write later Ham ,have a lovely day ...and OH ,I forgot to mention the most important thing ,I watched the Chelsea Flower Show yesterday ,now when your tomatoes won't ripen ,you pick them ,put them into a brown paper bag with a banana ,close the bag ,beautiful ripe toms within a few days We'll have to remember that for when you get stressed out if they don't ripen hahaha I'll stress for you ,so don't worry about it hahaha Right ,off to shop till I drop. Love Pinks XXX

Actually it was my messenger snail, I sent it up snail post just to keep an eye on you, now look what you've done. My nephew is paying us a surprise visit from Newcastle, he's picking his stepson up from Warwick uni I think, tomorrow morning and stopping over, we're just waiting for him to arrive. Eee Pinky, I've done next to nowt today, went to the market and got the fruit, the barrow boys were in splendid pee taking form, they're all Arsenal fans, I just said your lot couldn't even beat Sunderland! They did great that manager has been fantastic, they signed a class act (Defoe) for next to nowt, he's kept them up and probably sent us down, we've put ah oaf in charge of the team and just collapsed, never mind, the only way we can stop up is if Man U don't lose to Hull, we won't get anything off West Ham and they're absolute rubbish. I came back and put my leeks in then sat in the garden listening to the cricket while I did the crossword. My sis in law called from Newcastle to say to be sure to let her know when her boy gets here, He's 42 for Christ's sake! Drives me bliddy mad, I'll end on that angry note but send all my Love, Ham.

Oh my god Ham ,you mean I killed the messenger ? Hell !! I didn't notice a black and white scarf around it's neck ,I'd have thrown him over the neighbours fence if I had

I know ,I know ,but Ham when it comes to our lads ,age doesn't matter ,they're still our babies. I hope you rang the minute he arrived mind ? hahahaha It's a mother thing ,you wouldn't understand Ham. Hope he arrived safely and hope you all have a wonderful day.

So you got the leeks in then ? That's the most important thing of all ,you just can't beat leeks ,I made leeks in a cheese sauce just the other day funnily enough, bit of bacon chopped into them ,really nice.

I'm up with the larks this morning ,I just needed a cup of tea desperately ,so here I am. Seems like it might be a nice day ,I hope so for the brides anyway. I've got nothing planned for the week-end ,no guests arriving ,so far anyway ...one can only pray Ham !!! I just want the weather nice and full week-end in the garden ,would be good.

Right going back to bed for an hour ,I'll write later ,have a lovely day with the family Ham. Love Pinks XXX

Morning sweetheart, just got out of bed there's an awful triple murder in Didcot just up the road, my daughter lives up there, in fact we're going tomorrow for a Barby. Three people, looks like a couple and their child, it's just so upsetting. Yes my favourite pasta is leek and bacon spaghetti, well one of them, everybody should grow a few leeks, they're so easy and when there's nowt else in the garden it's so nice to dig up a leek! We're going to a barbecue today, we didn't really fancy it but my mate asked us around, he was expecting company for the weekend and they didn't show up, we went for a drink last night and he asked us so we hadn't much option. He's a bachelor and his style of entertaining is somewhat singular! My missus is making a potato salad as we speak! Of course we'll have the toon game on, but honest I'm completely reconciled to going down if Hull beat Man U, if they do we're totally useless, we're incapable of getting a win, Man U aren't playing for anything much and Hull are scrappers if nowt else, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they won, good luck to them. The sunlight is streaming in, jobs jobs, you'd think I was a great gardener, I spend all this time it's still a bliddy mess, I put a load of Dahlias in yesterday, I always grow a tray of annual Dahlias, I wonder what havoc the slugs and snails have wreaked! Oh actually we get a snail with a quite cute black and white shell honest, come to think of it the Mags will need a shell to hide in if they go down! Love Ham.

Hello Ham ,I saw it on the news ,but ,you never seem to hear about what happens ?? I know they were looking for another family member for questioning ,that's the last we heard about it up here. Just tragic ,unimaginable really ,puts things into perspective ,how lucky we are.

Well the weather has been very up and down ,more down than up I have to say. I went over to me Mams today ,did a bit of clearing the leaves etc from here garden ,it's all newly paved ,one of those 'posh' paved gardens ,so it's not too difficult to manage at all.Just a few raised beds with spring flowers and lavender ,and the odd shrub ,she grows veggies ,beans etc in tubs ,anyway ,lets put it this way ,it's easier to take care of than my wild ,natural wilderness Oh and she has bluetits nesting in a box there ,feeding the babies ,you can sit and watch them for hours.

Other news ??? None hahahaha shocked you there eh ? hahahaha Oh well done Newcastle ,by the skin of their teeth mind ,Geordie over the road is talking to me again ,he didn't speak for weeks ,all because I gave him the thumbs down when I drove past hahahaha He's shouting across now ,'Alreet Mackem', I told him I was deaf hahahaha Right ,off for a shower and an early night I think. Hope all is well with you Ham and hope those b-b-q's went well at the week-end ? Speak soon Love Pinks XXX

Just missed you gel, I've been up to Oxford all day then got back and had to fix my mate's chair which I managed to break while watching the Newcastle game, he's not the handiest and I said I'd fix it, and then he said oh well you can fix the other one it's been broke for months! So I've been screwing and glueing, they're flimsy old carvers (and there's an irony!) and really need to be in a museum but they're as good as they can be. He got them off his mum whose been in a nursing home for years but she died a few weeks ago so I thought I'd see if I could get them back together. Oh have a listen to Mark Steel's in town on the BBC I player, it's all about Fleetwood, really funny, he was on about the Knot End ferry, he went to get the ferry from Fleetwood and it was out of commission for maintenance, he said how disappointed he was and the boatman said 'Why do you want to go there anyway there's nowt there!' We went up to my daughter's in Didcot on Monday for a Barby, of course the atmosphere is very sombre. News had just come through of the bloke they were looking for being found dead, my elder daughter knows of the family from the family support centre they run at her school, good people and a lovely little girl, just too dreadful for words. It was great for Gutiarrez wasn't it? His story was the only bright thing in the whole miserable season and for him to turn in a match winning performance brought a lump to my throat, I've always loved the guy, and for sure he's a legend forever on Tyneside, even the Mackems like him, a bit anyway! Reet I'll get this off, I'll write tomorrow, Love, Ham.

Hey up sweetheart, you know I'm at a loss for words, mowed the lawns, we finished the Radio Times crossword between us, I send it off, goodness knows why I've never got a sniff, it's pretty difficult as well. Read a bit, (The Landleaguers, Trollope's last book, in fact he never got to finish it!) strife and poverty in old Ireland, oh and collected my lottery winnings, £13 no less! That's about it, Life Gets Teejus Don't it, as the old song says, Love Ham.

£13 on the lottery ,wow ,so I know a lottery winner ? I can't win an argument Ham ,not a penny. Well done you !
Yep ,I agree life can get tedious Ham ,so can the weather ,and it has been up here for the past few days,cold even ,like winter. Hopefully it can only get better. I hope so ,the gardens looking as bad as it did before I started hahaha ...no end ,ever.

We're going to me Mams for Sunday dinner today ,so this will be short and sweet Ham ,I'm going to get organized now ,cos being late to me Mams ,once the Yorkshire puddings have been put into the oven ,we'll be on a countdown hahaha She can get vicious you know

Have a lovely Sunday ,I'll write later Ham . Love Pinks XXX

Morning sweetheart, You're going to be pounded by gales up there today I see, we had a bit of a nutty Sunday actually, we had my mate come around for dinner, leg of lamb no less, this was after the club and several drinks, when young Sophie and her partner, another really sweet young woman called so even more drinking till round midnight but it was so lovely to see Sophie, she used to live next door, I've always regarded her as my honorary third daughter she used to go all over with me, we've taken her on holidays and all kinds. The girls were thrilled to bits because they've got a flat between them, they're moving in next weekend, so a lively fun evening. Reet I'm off to Didcot, the dog will be sitting waiting for me, How's your pooch? well I trust, Love, Ham.

Hello Ham ,it's been like the middle of winter up here ,I'm not kidding ,torrential rain ,cold ,miserable. I'm scared to look at the grass ,as for the hedge ,well I'll need a cherry picker to trim that. Flaming June ? Whoever said that should be shot !

Aww our Bonnie is a life saver to be honest Ham ,she really is. We get sad when she goes into hubby's room and sits on his chair ,she looks sad, but loves jumping all over his bed without him shouting at her hahaha She's always there with love and makes us laugh ,still as nutty as a fruit cake mind ,but she's been a treasure,truly. She makes us 'get out' if you know what I mean ? Walks and runs along the beach, keeping us active ,when really I think we'd all rather stay home and brood. I'm just pleased we got her when we did Ham.

I'm going to get the bins out now for tomorrow Ham while the rain has gone ,for now. Hope everything is ok with you ? Speak soon .Love Pinks XXX

Oh that touches the heartstrings, I'm an absolute sucker for animals, I can't even kill slugs and snails, my daughter has just acquired yet another cat, a black kitten that looks like an ink blot! I just get to feed the three guest cats I have at the moment, they're there 7am every morning. My daughter's dog goes nuts as soon as I get to the door, it knows it's going out, spaniels, they're crazy. It's our wedding anniversary tomorrow, 49 years, you get less than that for murder, and believe me we've come close from time to time! We're celebrating tomorrow of course so I've had to bring my starving day forward to today, I'm not losing much weight but I do think It does a bit of good you know, and of course drink is off on diet days so that doesn't hurt either. I've been a bit busy at least, our kitchen lights were playing up, I've told my missus it's because she's always sloshing water around, but I got them dried out and sorted, and had to get new lamps. Yep Italian tomorrow, Cannaloni starter and seafood risotto methinks, I don't see the point of going to an Italian and having steak or something but lots of people do I notice.
They've got one of thos Changing Lives shops in Didcot, like a charity shop come recycling centre I suppose, I always have a look in there, it's an Aladdin's cave, anyways I got talking to one of the workers there and she's from Newton Aycliffe, great big lass as well, about 6 ft honest, dead jealous when I said we'd been to High Force, oh I got my photos back today, really brilliant of the falls. I'm sure she kept me talking cos she liked my accent, I'm still broad Geordie, I've been here since 1973 and Oxford edycated! Anyways I got a brilliant hiking stick for a couple of quid, the bizzo, cork handle, collapsible, Anyways Pinky, look pet I know you'd give anything to be where I'm at, you've helped me to value every minute and take nothing for granted, don't think I don't think about you every day, Love, Ham.

Happy Anniversary Ham ,hope you both have a wonderful day and lots more years of happiness ahead of you ,treasure every moment Ham. I completely know what you mean ,people going to restaurants with different cuisine,yet they still eat English. I found that when we used to go abroad with friends ,they'd go for fish n chips ,we'd go for seafood paella. I just don't see the point of going abroad or eating in an Italian restaurant and ordering a steak, that's not special to me (Do I sound snobbish ? hahaha ) Anyway ,enjoy your meal.The suns supposed to be shining tomorrow too I hope so.

We had sun today ,just gave me the chance to see how bad the garden is ,so tomorrow is 'attack' day. A whole day in the garden ,it has to be done Ham. Watch this space ,the intentions are good ,believe me

Right ,it's almost 4 am ,I awoke just needing a cup of tea ,so I'm off back to bed now. I'll expect a full report on the anniversary day Sending my love to you ,as always Pinks XXX

Funny thing Pinky we're just back from the Comrades club, we just went down for lunch, a sandwich and drink, who was in there but a pair of Geordie twins down on holiday with their brother who lives in Wallingford but comes from Gateshead originally. Identical twin lads both retired and still like peas in a pod, uncanny! We've booked the Italian for 7:30, if we don't and the family come landing we'd never get out! We've got our company arriving on Sunday, that's my sis and bro in law with their friends, another couple, but they're all staying in town, but coming to us for dinner on Sunday, they're OK, I'm meeting the lads at the club, goodness knows after that! Don't wear yourself out hinny, the weeds are pushing up as we speak and the greenfly are in battle order, no matter how much you do you can't win, Love Ham.

So we had a lovely meal, only they didn't have canelonni, so I had a carbonara starter instead which was the best I've ever tasted. I had the seafood risotto as well, my missus loves those folded pizzas, like a giant Cornish pasty, she couldn't finish it so I got a lump of that as a bonus, and really nice sweets and a complimentary limoncello as well, you know with all that a bottle of house red, a couple of Peronis, a gin and tonic, and bruschetta, it was just over £70, £80 with the tip, I don't think that's bad. Oh and I had a brandy coffee! We went for a last one at the club and my old next door neighbour, Sophie's mum and her husband were just coming out, so they came back in for the last one, so it was a really good night. I was a bit groggy this morning so I went out for the afternoon for a walk around the lake at Dorchester, leaving my missus to watch the tennis in peace, I really can't stand it, in fact Andy Murray is just being put to the sword as I write so we're eating late! Love, Ham.

Sounds like a beautiful anniversary Ham ,and the meal sounded delicious. So pleased you both had a good day,I was thinking of you both .

Well ,I have a confession ,the sun was shining ,it was warm and beautiful ,I didn't touch the garden. I know ,how bad is that eh ? Instead ,I sat and relaxed ,started the first of the sunbathing ritual ,and thought ,I'll do the garden tomorrow ...Right ,sounds good ,but ,it was windy yesterday ,so it never got done of course. I'm trying for Sunday Ham ,the sheer determination is there ,I just can't face it hahaha I've got to get it done ,I've never seen it so bad in June. Mind you ,it seems a bit blustery this morning as well.

Right ,this is short and sweet (the editors here will think it's Christmas hahaha) I'll write later Ham ,early start for me today ,I can't be late(famous last words) Have a lovely Saturday. Love Pinks XXX

Pinky, sorry I'm neglecting you, we've got our company here, but I ain't forgotten you sweetheart I promise, I'll write later today we're off to Oxford! Love, Ham.

And here I am slightly hung over and really dreading having to go out again, they're really nice people but we're all getting on a bit. It's gone 7 now, I'm just waiting for them to arrive, maybe it'll be simpler just to walk down town to meet them and we can all have an early night, gosh now my daughter's arrived, I'll have to give it up Pinky, I'll write tomorrow, Love Ham.