h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh NO Ham ! I could have driven up there and had her delivered,safely to your door in the time it's taken to delay the flight ! How annoying (BUT,you didn't want to do the Heathrow run ,now did you ?? Be honest now ? Nice work if you can get it,I MUST remember that one when I next draw the short straw for the Manchester Airport drive...Get absoluely legless(on Black Velvets) at a rock concert the day before !! Thanks Ham,I've written it down in my little black book hahahaha)I'm just pleased it was all worth it and you had a great time ! Can't say I can remember John Otway though ? What other songs did he do ?....I've cooked Sunday dinner today for the family (It was my turn,again !!!!) 9 for lunch ! The good news is,I've actually survived to tell the tale.The weather has been glorious,sunshine all day,makes a change ! When you've read this,please go to the 'Sarcasm Only'thread,a couple of me Dads hangover recipes for you there hahahahhahaha If they don't sober you up quickly,nothing will Bonny Lad hahahahhahahhaha Hope your wife and her Mam arrive safely (also pray you salvaged the dinner in your delicate state hahahaha) See you tomorrow,well,I'll see you,I have NO IDEA how you'll be seeing anything at all Ham hahahahhahahha Take care.Lots of Love Pinky xxxxx

'Really Free', which is completely nutty, was probably John Otway's biggest hit, he's still got a bit of a 'cult' following and he does one big gig a year at the Albert Hall no less, and fills it, which pays his wages for the rest of the year, he's a real quirky character. They didn't get back till 10 oclock, a five hour flight delay, my ma in law loved it of course, 'Eeeee, they treated me like a princess', though I note a couple of princesses got chucked off a plane earlier in the week, but of course my missus had to spend a lovely day sitting around Heathrow and paying £32 parking for the privelige! Anyways, got to get off to work, only local today which is nice, gives me an extra half hour! See you, Ham.

Thirty two pounds ? For parking for a few hours ? Well,it's daylight robbery if you ask me Ham !! There'd be a revolution if they charged prices like that up here ! It's scandalous ! Thankyou for your msg today,and I'm just pleased your mother-in-law,arrived safely in the end.I hope she has a great holiday Ham....I came home from work early today,sun shining,the garden needed some attention !! My tomatoes are the size of peas,my strawberries are greener than the greenest pea,altogether Ham,not a good year for the garden with all of the rain we've had ! Anyway,I mowed the lawn,cut the hedge,did a general dead-heading and tidy up,and it looks quite lush ! On the whole ! (Still the small matter of the shed to clear out,but hey ho..Rome wasn't built in a day right ?Or do I mean all roads lead to Rome ? hahahahahaI wish !) I'll do it soon .....Ok,time I wasn't here ! You take care Ham.I'll write later.Lots of Love Pinky xxxxxxx PS.I still can't recognise the songs of John Otway Ham ..I'm begining to think...Where was I in the 70's ?? hahahahhahahhaha

You could have dead headed me on Sunday Pinky. Yes the garden isn't great but the tomatoes are starting to move at last, my big success has been a load of annuals, Lavatera, Dahlias, Livingstone daisies, Petunias, Nasturtiums, MORNING GLORY!, which I sowed and they have just filled up the garden with colour, I know there's a lot of bother clearing them out but for these few weeks they're lovely. Of course the rain has really suited them, they grow quicker than the bugs can eat them when it's like this. Off today, my grandson's birthday, going for a beer with an old mate at lunchtime, I've got to entertain my ma in law for a couple of hours till I can make an excuse and leave, but the sun is shining and I'm going to 'have a nice day', I hope the same applies to you, Ham.

Hi Ham,I've had a lovely day too thankyou..Work of course,then,after work,the weather was fabulous,I'm quietly watering the hanging baskets at my front door,when the next door neighbour collars me,a big box of chocs for me (I kept an eye on her house while she was away last week-end)I invited her round for a cool drink (lemonade withe ice and lemon) Then, my brother(David) and a few of his mates arrived..well,we ended up having a right little private garden party hahaha I might have another one tomorrow hahahahhaha Hope your grandson had a wonderful birthday (my birthday wishes to him Bless)Also hoped you enjoyed time with your mate (and the BEER,please note I use the singular! hahahaha)All in all ,quite a nice day for us both considering the week hasn't got into full gear yet !!! I can't wait hahahahaha You take care.i'll write tomorrow.Like you could stop me hahahhahahaha Lots of Love Pinky xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Ham,no garden party today,the weather is back to'normal',dull,overcast and cool...I THOUGHT it was too good to last ! Hope it's better down there ?I'll write later,sorry this is shorter and even more boring than usual hahahahaha You take care Lots of Love Pinky xxxxxxxxx

Hi Pinky, I'm all excited 'cos I've ordered another guitar off Ebay, half price and a real bargain (I hope!) I was really busy yesterday on duty in Bucks, first time since I went back I had a newly trained lad on with me and he was just sitting staring into space at the end of the day, I just go into overdrive till it's all done, but I've been doing it for years. We've got more running around than we've ever had, the hospital we admit people too is in Aylesbury, when you've got police escorts and everything to organise it's a real palava just getting up and down the county. But reassuring to know I still can, it's been a while as I say. Watched the Toon playing a friendly with Hull last night, not very reassuring as 'big Sam' played the entire youth team for most of the second half, they've got that many injuries he's scared to risk any more senior players! Its great to see the season starting again though, it feels like hibernation when there's no soccer! The Wallies look absolutely useless, we've got Oxford City in a friendly tonight, and I dread to think what the score might be, all of which is of no interest to you whatever, but you'll be elderly and rambling one day, which reminds me I must make my ma in law a cup of tea! God save us! Your mate Ham.

Ham,I Am old and rambling NOW (you just don't notice it pet cos your old too hahahahhahahhahaha)Thankyou for your msg today,and actually,I can suffer a bit of football now and again (espiecally when Sunderland beat Newcastle hahahahhahha,I become an expert then ,you wait and see if I don't Bonny Lad hahahahhahahha Bet you canna wait can ya ? hahahahhahha) I'm so pleased work seems to be doing you the power of good at the moment.I seem to go into overdrive too when I have an apprentice with me..It's either a North Eastern thing ,or,we enjoy showing off our skills so much,there's no holding us hahahahhaha Someone's got to do it right ?..The weathers been glorious here today,sunshine and heat ! Not before time of course,lets just hope it stays that way for the week-end ! If it does,I'm thinking about re-charging my batteries in the Lake District on Sunday ! It'll probably chuck it down like,knowing my luck hahahahaha Hope your new guitar is upto your expectations Ham by the way,when it arrives.Ebay is pretty good though,on the whole !I shouldn't imagine there will be any problem. Ok,I'm away ! I'll write tomorrow,wild horses couldn't stop me ,no,they couldn't xxx You take care Ham.Lots of Love Pinky xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello Pinky, sorry I ain't got to you over the weekend but I've got a housefull. I'm off today and I'm definately heading for the hills on my bike. I don't want to be mean but my Ma in Law is here and that would drive anybody to the hills. To cap it all my nephew called from Canada on Saturday to say he wanted to visit, his job has just come to an end, (he's a contracting electrician) and he's got a load of money and some time on his hands, but we can't fit him in, my M in L will be here till we go on holiday in mid-September, it's always been like this for us, when I was studying it used to be a nightmare, people do think you can just drop everything. I hate stopping at other people's places to be honest, apart from with a couple of very good friends it's something I try to avoid like the plague, I must be a darned good host! It's a Northern thing though isn't it? My own parents would go and land on anyone at the drop of a hat, I never feel comfortable, I'd rather pay for a hotel! Working the rest of the week, but it is flying by, I feel like i've never been away now, but all options remain open! See You, Ham. (Oh, what did the slug say to the snail?........ Big Issue! Yes it took me a few minutes as well, good though!)

Hahahahhahahhaha,took me a few seconds more...BUT,I got there in the end, SLOWLY hahahahahhahaha ..Hi Ham,thankyou for todays msg.....It's a North Eastern thing,just believe me OK ?OR, could it possibly be that we live where we live ? It's a nightmare living here,every week in the season,and winter,if I had an hotel,it would be full,too capacity !!! EVERYONE comes and stays with me,NEVER my sisters house,or my brothers,or me Mams even ...HERE ! I LOVE to think it's my dynamic personality of course,even my cuisine,(I HAVE been known to be a demon in the kitchen )Sadly,I have to admit,I'm just soft hahahahahhaha 'COME ON UP,ANYTIME' !!! And they come hahahahhahha Like Sunday,me Mam phoned 'it's too hot to cook dinner'...me...'Oh it's alright Mam,I'll pick you up,I'll do a meal here' (the tom toms are out now) Phone rings..my sister ...'Your cooking dinner then ?'......me .....Well,ermmmm .....our Roz....'Well we MIGHT AS WELL come to yours then !'.....me....'Yeh,no problem,bring our Dave as well' (my brother) 9 for dinner AGAIN !!! We had it in the garden sort of a 'indoor cooked barbie' Ham .....DEFINITELY a Northern thing,cos I don't stay at anyones house either (apart from my brother in London ) I prefer an hotel !!! Right,I've had my 'little' rant now hahahahhaha Hope you enjoyed your bike ride ? I'll write tomorrow(OR,should that be RANT AGAIN tomorrow?) See you then.Take Care Ham.Lots of Love Pinky xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yeah you got it Pinky, I've often thought about moving out over the summer and just leaving it to the visitors. The thing is I love my nieces and naphews and I love to see them. We used to get my Mam and Dad often twice a year from Canada for months on end. It was torture and I feel guilty as I write it cos they've both died, but honestly, it did push the tensions up in the house, and I don't mind admitting it. In all honesty I'd love to go back to Canada but it's purely 'cos we've got to stay with family that we're not going. We're sorting out our September holiday now, goodness knows where we'll end up, we always leave it far too late 'cos we're too busy running around after everyone else, well my missus is, but I'm looking forward to it. Yeah I had a good ride yesterday, (on my bike) I went up to Didcot on the road to do a bit of shopping then came back 'off-road' on a lovely and little used bridleway, about 10 miles long across lovely countryside, about 23 miles in all, but it feels alot further when you're on rough tracks so I'm aching a bit this morning. Eeee, I've got to get off to Cholsey, speak to you soon, your bosom pal, Ham.

Hi Ham,thankyou for todays msg.Please don't feel guilty Ham.I adore my family,everyone of them,but believe me they can cause tensions in any home,believe you me hahahahhaha I do understand ! So,you don't know where your going for your holidays yet ? Last minute deals are sometimes the best Ham ! You'll find somewhere,well your wife will ,we're good at that hahahaha Pleased to hear you enjoyed your bike ride,it sounded fabulous to be honest ! The weather was lovely here again today.I'm hoping it lasts until the week-end,I'm hoping to escape to the Lakes (I KNOW,I hope every week-end.I live in hope hahahahaha)I'll write tomorrow.You take care.Lots of Love Pinky xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Last minute deals be blowed I can see us ending up in Blackpool! More like Madeira again though, I know I'm predictable but I'll tell you, you get great civilised flight times, we leave about 4 am for Gatwick on a Monday, we're sitting in our favourite caff having a beer by 2pm, the hotels are absolutely first-class, the walking is just fantastic, and Madeira itself is beautiful. Having said that we could end up anywhere, watch this space..... I don't know the Lake district very well, but I've been watching a very tasty lady doing a series on Lakeland walks on the telly, I spend too much time watching the mountains and valleys, never mind the scenery! Seriously, it's good, and that walking doesn't half seem to keep her fit! I hope you get there this weekend, maybe we could meet on some windswept fell one day? I can here you calling now...... Hamcliff, Hamcliff........

HAMCLIFF...it's me your Pink..eeeee,I've come home..I'm so co-o-o-ld let me in at your window ....A windswept Cragg,armfuls of perfumed heather ,overlooking the dales...a quiet stream running before us,you, me and all of a sudden ,a thunder storm..I KNEW this would happen when we'd made plans Ham hahahahhahahhahahahha AND I bet any money you forgot the umbrella ! hahahahahhaha Hi Ham,always so good to read your msgs.Without a doubt ,you restore my total faith in human nature ! Honestly ! So,we now have Blackpool on the agenda as a holiday destination eh ? Well,I know an excellent hotel,cheap,good food (I HAVE been known to be a DEMON in the kitchen on the odd occasion).Your wife can relax,put her feet up,you can run around with the hoover for me,flick a duster here and there,mow the lawn,feed the Koi,take our Gucci out for her daily constitutional....You'll be as fit as fiddle by the end of your holiday Ham ..when do you arrive ? hahahahhahahhahahha Second thoughts,Madeira must be looking even more exotic to you than normal eh ? Have a fabulous time,wherever you end up ! The Lakes are fantastic Ham,believe me,if there is a God and he'd made anything better,he'd have kept it all to himself!! No matter what the weather,it's beautiful ! I love going up there in springtime..(Wordsworths daffodils everywhere,not to mention snowdrops and primroses) Autumn ,is inspiring,miles and miles of every shade from red to yellow with the trees seeming to change colours before your very eyes...I lived in Penrith for awhile,winter is a real-live wonderland up there Ham ! .....I've now gone into my Bohemian artist mode ...It's OK,don't worry,I'm back hahahahhahahha Safe and sound ,and normal..ish again hahahhahahha I could talk forever about the beauty of the Lake District so don't get me going again OK ? hahahahhahahahha I think it's best if I send this now otherwise...I'll be off again hahahahhahaha However,there is tomorrow of course ! I'll write then (it'll give you time to recuperate pet anyway hahahahaha) You take care Lots of Love Pinkeeeeee xxxxxxxxxxx

Hello Pinky, my new guitar came yesterday afternoon, and it's lovely, completely brand new and half price, I don't know how they do it, I had to dust it off a bit it's been in a shop window for a while I reckon, anyway, something for me to play with in the bedroom! http://www.theacousticballroom.com/blog/gallery/album/72157601115051072/photo/960050503/July_07-Bob.html This might be me at the last ballroom, I still haven't started the diet but I must! The band has got a bit fractious, I'm letting sleeping dogs lie for a while, we're supposed to be making a CD at the end of September but I think we're a mile over the top there, it's supposed to be to help promote the band but I don't think any of us want to be playing more than a couple of times a month, and I enjoy my folk club stuff, but our last gig was seriously good if I say so myself, so it would be a shame if we collapse in a heap but it's a strong possibility. I'm in Bucks as I write, quiet today after a mad week last week, but I've got my reporting out the way and I thought I would pester my best gal. Oh I think I was telling you about the Bunkfest a while back, unfortunately they've cancelled it this year, it's a real shame. 16000 people visited last year, thats three times the population, and it is a marvellous festival. I managed to blag my way on to a couple of gigs, and the band came over and we set up in the Cross Keys garden and just played and (you've guessed it) went a storm. Apparently they didn't have enough volunteers, but there was no lack of interest. Sods law, I've got to go and see someone in Aylesbery, just come in, must dash, see you. Ham.

Hi Ham,so pleased the new guitar arrived safe and sound (half ,price too, wow.I have no idea how they do it !) Thankyou for the photo and link.( You look OK to me,why bother dieting ?)I've had a good look around the site and it does seem a fantastic night.The idea of a free for all,so to speak,all types of music,sounds appealing !! You never know,one of these days.I might just drop in hahahaha ...I wonder why they've decided to cancel the Bunkfest then ? The foot and mouth scare perhaps ? I don't know,I'm just guessing mind.It does seem the most logical excuse I suppose.A shame,all the same Ham ! ..The weather has been glorious here today..I took a day off.Ham,I can't remember when I last worked that hard hahahahha I need a week off now hahahahha REAL,housework,you know,tops of doors,skirting boards and cobweb destruction...Not to mention washing,doing the garden and cutting the ivy !!! Good job us women multi task eh hahahahhahahhaha I much prefer those days off,when I shop till I drop with my daughter,sister,and me Mam..we have something in a little Italian restaurant somewhere,then home to look over the bounty of our day hahahahhahaha Next week,hopefully hahahahha Right,I'm away.Thankyou again for your photo Ham (I WISH I knew how to do it,I'd send you one of me ..Oh well. Your gonna have use your imagination a bit longer pet hahahhha) You take care xxxxxx Lots of Love Pinky xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi both, I think that pic would look good in the ( H2G2 friends photo gallery)

Definately not for the general public thanks Arnold. Hey Pinky, you're having a relaxing day at work I hope, I hope you didn't overstretch yourself yesterday. Do you put a headscarf on and knot it at the front when you're dusting, in the good old Northern style? Now that would be a good photo! Those photo's I send are published on the web and are in the public domain so to speak, actually the previus black and white one probably shows my better side, but I'm honestly not that vain. That guitar I'm playing is my lovely twelve string which I got off ebay for £75, it's a vintage Japanese model all solid wood and you'd pay at least £400 for a comparable model in a shop, quite often people just don't know what they're worth, but I buy them to play not to deal, (not that I'm a good guitarist, I've been playing 42 years and haven't improved!) Any way, got to go, see you later, Ham.

Lovely thought Arnold,sadly Ham and I are from the North East of England,we don't do the general public and we don't do many friends either !!! Hi Ham,I KNOW,how early am I today eh ? I'm at home,doing wedding work (I can't stand doing it at work where I get pestered,continually by the general public,I like peace and quiet and privacy) Now funnily enough,me Mam STILL wears the 'typical Northern style'head scarf while doing her housework ! I on the otherhand ,tie mine at the nape of my neck (suits me better,seen how I look like a gypsy,do you know what I mean ?Dark hair,dark eyes,olive skinned,without the crystal ball of course !!).....Ham,as far as I'm concerned ,anyone who can even pick a 12 string guitar up,and hold it correctly is talented in my book !! I know you can play the guitar !The guitar in the picture looks very classy by the way. ............I REALLY should be making bridesmaids headdresses now (ALL six of them !!!! WHY,I ask myself ?)...I'll write again in the SANE hours,when there no people about OK ? hahahahhaha You take care,have a lovely week-end ! Lots of Love Pinky xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry pissed as a newt I am but that pic would really work in the book ,go for it M r How many people saw this allerady