h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mmm... chocolate...

*wonders what wookie had in mind*

*Return's... Steals Minstrel balanced on Lucinda's body in recompense for his stealing of mine previously... Leaves again*

ha

*is mildly upset about being left all on her lonesome*

*starts on uni work, trying to avoid disturbing Minstrels*

*gets minstrels (with lutes) to start playing some stress relieving background music*

*Eats cornflakes naked whilst writing essay on "The Taming of the Shrew"... if only; I've got no bloody cornflakes.*

*dressed in her little dirndl, pausing breathless at the door*
May I come in and join you, bitte?

Naturlich, aber konnen sie mir sprachen, was ist ein "dirndl"...?

Eine Dirndl ist...oh, heck, it's the little flouncy dress with leather bustier and white ruffled blouse that is considered traditonal Deutche garb. Sort of the female equivalent of lederhosen.

Ahh - fair enough... {learn something every day with h2g2...}

Well, do come in then - I'm sure Emily won't mind at all...

*looks nervous and sits in the corner - he doesn't really go in for all this crazy stuff*

My semen tastes salty as I eat too many salty foods. I am not a fawn since I cut my hair, and you can't even see the hooves in my shoes. My legs still are exceptionally hairy *lifts up trouser leg showing his hairy leg, begging you to lick it*.

JP

*steps aside to reveal a antique clawfoot porcelain bathtub filled with rich Bavarian cream*
Would anyone care to get dipped?

*pads over to Mr. Tumnus and starts licking his leg*

Mind if I plug in this electric razor?

Oh, do shave Mr. Tumnus; he needs it.

I'm sorry, I speak no German, but you're most welcome Fraulein.

But I'd be needing some way to strap him down, since he doesn't want to be shaved...

*licks lips*

Well, we can strap that naughty fawn down with my leather bustier and ties.

*In shepherdess costume, Emily herds in the sheep, goats and geese, along with a generous quantity of duck tape*

What a good idea, Fraulein...

*struggles briefly with the bustier*

...if you'd just explain to me how this fastening works...

ed comes back from the pub unfulfiled, as he got turned away again, looks at whats going on, eyebrows levitate 3 inches off head and fall to floor....

"i leave, suddenly more females turn up and something happens, typical. dammit"

I'm sure it's not related ed....

no, i think it actually is, it seems to be somthing that happens to me. Hence why I am a member of PVC (Pathetic Virgins Club), entry requirements, are you a virgin? are you pathetic? I'm both so hence i'm in.