h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Gem says "Price-Murrays", and Emily wants a shag.

I say ditto.

*Frantically unbuttons shirt... descends on neck... plays with hair...*

*Scorns his lack of real hair to have played with...*

*Proceeds to play dead*

ahh - this is the voyeuristic bit, is it?
*plays with her hair*

*Kisses still person... removes rest of garments, in spite of her dislike of naked men*

*in lieu of Jamie's hair, she borrows Lucinda's*

*mentally notes the fact that his body repulses his girlfriend... remains still*

Well... it's only a general dislike; you can't help being male after all.

*tickles still person*

*Screams in genuine horror... Adopts protest stance*

*Gives up protest and moves towards nipples...*

*wishes Mr. Tumnus were here*

Alright... you can move now...

*Starts making that funny gasping sound*

*feels reassured by funny gasping sound... moves hands slowly down body*

*pauses in the middle of calling 999*

Oh - that's normal then...

Without question, a sorry excuse for an orgy! Dull, dull, dull!

*reciprocates action; gets worried that YK is reading this*

Well - you could spice it up a bit. As it is, it's just public cyber-making-out, not that I'm against that...

*Couldn't give a toss if YK is reading this... Blames the dullness of the orgy to the lack of participation... Even out the girl:guy ratio... Slowly begins to knead between the legs... Then starts to get more specific... Then runs off as he's got an essay to finish... Be back tomorrow... Byeeeee*

*places Minstrels strategically over Lucinda's body*

*She ought to run off because she has an essay to start for tomorrow, but eats a couple of Minstrels off Lucinda first*