h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No, not Mars! Live on Topics...

Snickers, I've heard of Paparazzi living on Toepics, but never anyone living on Topics. Isn't it dangerous? All those topical diseases, not to mention the topic of cancer . . .oops. Still I suppose if you're ruler of the topics then you'll never be short of topical subjects.

Topics? Snickers?

You're all nuts.

Actually, I wouldn't mind a swimming pool filled with Smarties (minus the water thankyou).

St.~A~

but what if you bellyflopped into it? I bet that would really smart, eh?

I just love ancient repeats of "topical news quizes" - whose entire reason for existance has dissapeared...

No, no, no! I keep Have I Got News For You on tape, to remind me what a turd Jeffrey Archer is, when he drops out of the headlines - not very often I admit. Let's see, there's the 'Archer' (£2000) given to a prostitute, the 'spotty back' trial, his "b*****d Kurds" address to a group of Kurds, his shares in Anglia TV, his falsified CV, and somehow they still manage to make him a Lord and pick him as a candidate for Mayor of London.

I prefer topical skin creams. I mean, since when were "cold sores" on everyone's lips?

No one ever tires of seeing the Tub of Lard either, although that one's perhaps a little over-rated now.

I'm so bitter; I don't have Sky, so I couldn't watch the "Blackadder".

We went down to the pub just to watch Blackadder on their screen... desperate, eh?

Verdict? An awful lot of people said it was good, but not good enough for Blackadder, which should be brilliant. Since I'm obsessed, I'll probably like it whatever.

I don't have Sky either.

And as for visiting the Dome, there's a phrase featuring wild horses that springs to mind.

St.~A~

Sorry, I'm knackered... which one? Not meaning to sound gormless or anything.

'Knackered' is not a word to use when speaking to a horse.

The phrase regarding not being dragged somewhere.

St.~A~

"Wild horses couldn't shag me there"?

Come again? (no innuendo intended - well, it is now, but that's besides the point somewhat.

Ah widnae like tae git dragged barabaws fae here taeradome?

I Liked Blackadder B&F, it even got a genuine LOL (Baldrick after Will Scarlet).It leapt around a bit, but was well worth watching.

I still haven't seen it...

hi Zed
I saw the christmas special of Blackadder. It was good that was

If you look really closely, you know sumtimes Tony Hart used to go out and meet kids and do huge murals and stuff? Well Damiens Hurst is the one with the evil glint in his eye looking straight at the camera and clutching half of a cat.

There was this bloke/artist (as they are two different species) who may or may not have been damien hurst, who made a mould of his head, took 2 pints or sumthing of his own blood, injected it into this plaster cast, bunged it in the freezer, took it out and displayed his frozen head of blood in an exhibition? Oh er
And there was this woman who made a chocolate cast of herself and used it for an exhibition. Somebody had the cheek to eat a bit of her as well.

somebody had the cheek......
haw haw haw
chocolate cheek cookies!!!

very good, apart from I think they ate her elbow, but I dont want to draw the comedy limelight away from you so I'll just shut up now

Get going to my orgy - it's not much of an orgy with just the four of us...