h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've realised that I automatically fancy people called Jason or Alex.

There's no such thing as sin.

The Fratellis' album is still bloody great.

The press have once again made a big thing out of scaring people by telling them there's nothing to be scared of.

Liter bottles of JD are a bad thing, though they seem like the way forward when one's in the offie.

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

A desire to shave one's balls while drunk *is* something to be scared of.

Bad Taste is a very, very unusual film, and it's hard to stop watching it.

Nipples. Nipples are good.

Bananas. Not very dignified but but cheaper than a dildo. Never peel them first - it leads to banana bum.

Damn mate your.....

But worth every penny of the licence fee

Don't shave the balls, it itches with a vengance when it grows back.

The Frats are indeed gods of music.

I'll never eat another banana.

*Goes off to change his name to Alex*

Prince Charming, Prince Charming. Ridicule is nothing to be scared of..


Alex? ] I had better go and warn him

If you mean the Alex that goes by a different name here, he's probably gathered...

Wow, and I used to think courgettes were entertaining, nothing in comparason to a evenings adventerous lobster baiting in Crawley. Or so I've been led to believe, not being one myself of course to ever consider wholesale lifting of sanctions Vesa ve la 'Sin', I'm a good girl me you know wow, I just discovered quite how far my speaker cones move when the bass is turned up and running through an external Bass EQ box I have* to buy one of these I feel a scurge coming on on to matters more important. Oi! Roymondo! you'e turned into a bird! litre bottles? litre bottles?! I thought they were only for girls and all* men only buy the 1.5 litre jobs, saves having to pop out every 45 mins to get a top up bottle

I mean the Alex ] who sometimes goes by the name of Thurrrrrs.. Thurrr... Thingy!

He knows??

Ah, no, not him. Another Alex.

There might have been a clue in that sentence...

I got it

But I couldn't: he sees me as an older man. Hmmmphhh. Grrr. Nadgers.

Hellfire man, you're a spring chicken Can't be THAT much older.

I'm about 15 years older. And he's probably straight. And I should really shut up because it ain't decent to be chatting about the lad.

Ooh! Look up there! Ninjas in pantaloons!

Oh yeah..........bright blue ones. Well i never

Sorry, I don't know of any other Alex..

As you say, it's best so not say anymore..

Old?! Old?! I thought that you, like me, Roymondo, are still mispending our youth

I am - but mispending a 19 year old's youth is possibly a tad beyond my bailiwick.

(yep, I'm using big words because I'm a smart arse. Wanna' fight about it? I'll meet you outside and give you such great head you'll forget what we were arguing about in the first place).

Somebody turn this laptop of before I say somethng stoopid.

Ooh crivvens, I killed m own convo!

I was waiting for Legster to go *CLICK*, as he turned off your lappy.

Err! Roymondo! Chatham House Lads do not talk about Bailiwicks!

Just not cricket!



Were you taught nothing?

And shaving balls!

Look at the trouble Hare got into about that?

Shame on you!

Bringing HooToo into disrepute!

You'll have us up before the PTB's!

So long as TPTBs give a bit of a spanking I'll be a happy bunny.

You know the showers at the north end of the main building? I did stuff in there...