h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

speaking of crows .... and spirit guides ..



my fave Spirit Guide moment ..

Northern Exposure .. The late great Floyd Red Crow Westerman playing 'One-Who-Waits' ... an ancient Native American Spirit Guide .. who regularly visits Ed Chigliak (the shaman-in-training) ..

... Ed frequently sits chatting with him at the bar ..

...only a few can see One-Who-Waits of course ..him being a spirit n' all .. so most people think that Ed is talking to himself ... heheheheheheh ...

RIP Floyd Red Crow Westerman ... you can haunt me any time you like ...



OK ... here we go then .. one for the road ... from The Last Waltz .. no ... its not the Neil Diamond bit ......promise heheheheheh ....

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=FxGcAm0EkTU

Lady C had a mishap and had to go home early yesterday. So she missed meeting the muse. There will be no report as a result. You'll just have to trust me that he is perfectly presentable.

That is an amazing poem, Phred. Thanks for posting it.

Neil Diamond is sooooooooooooo much better than Lawrence Welk. How on earth Welk ever became an icon is beyond me. He was certainly not my cup of tea. And my increased age hasn't made me any fonder of him. His was a type of program that I am happy to do without.

I am going to make venison chili this afternoon. But I need an idea for Mother's lunch in the meantime. Something easy on both her tummy and teeth that she actually likes. I'm thinking a chicken and rice casserole. She can take the leftovers home with her. Good plan.

I'm a bit gloomy, and not just because I didn't get my planned evening with Sis. My kitty Chico is no more. He was my baby, and I'll miss him. He was a good cat, had a lot of personality, never any trouble, never destructive. Unlike Minerva, who is a zot if there ever was one. Chico had a long run and was spoiled every day of his life, so he did okay for himself. Death is the way of the world. What can I say.

Lawrence Welk! Freaky to see that name again! I was just in a little cowboy town that had a hand-lettered sign about Lawrence Welk...It was the little of Interior, South Dakota...just south of the Badlands...no bus station...A one room jail with rebar windows...two choices on red wine...We picked the $5 Gallo Merlot...

The Dakotas and Nebraska don't have that much to see, so I always like to take the back farm roads that parallel the interstates...trouble is no other RVs take those roads so no RV parks and we ended up spending the night at 9:30 in an Interstate rest area just west of Fargo...Fargo was one of my favorite movies...The Cohen Brothers...but at least nobody knocked on the door to tell us to move...

Today we made it to Leech Lake in Minnesota...It's forest and lake country...I'm cooking a chicken vegtable soup in the slow cooker...so much to do here...chicken breast, chicken broth, veggies and pasta rings...

The front wheels of the RV are almost in the lake...A bicycle trail is nearby...tennis courts in town...we can rent canoes or motorboats and go fishing for walleyes oe pickerels...the lodge sells ice cream...There is an Indian Casino nearby...I'm tempted to tell Mrs. Phred to take $100 and see what she can run it up to...We may be here awhile...One of my online friends just made thousands gambling...it's an omen...

The temperature is about 50 F. Yesterday we reversed course to outrun a severe thunderstorm with tornadoes, one-inch hail and 70 MPH gusts..

I like it here alot so far...it's about 500 miles from the Badlands yesterday morning...The campsite has a big firepit...

Time to check the marshmello supply...

aw luvvy .. sorry to hear about Chico .... hey Chico ... ... hey you ...



what's a zot? go get 'em Minerva ..

...

... heheheheheh ...but perhaps zot doesn't mean mouse .. what's a zot?



you OK Lady C ? sorry you didn't make it to spend time with Sis and Mister Muse ..



have to change posts .. to consider life at Leech Lake ..

... is it spooky, spending the night at an interstate rest area? do interstate rest areas have 24 coffee shops?

wonder if they are what we would call motorway services ... no overnight camping allowed ... by order .. else you get a skeleton-Zot-monster tap tap tapping on your window ..



what's a zot? oh .. wait .. found him ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zot!

oh .. he's cool ..

new obsession .. Zachary T. Paleozogt, popularly known as Zot ....

Paleozogt ?



Leech Lake sounds amazing .. is the water reeeeely cold for swimming? nice though I bet .. lake culture! a new world ... love it ..

are there Leech Lake myths and mysteries? like Loch Ness ... and Okanagan Lake ..

Ogopogo!

same to you ...

its the water-monster .. in the Okanagan Lake .. 'tis .. honest ..

exit pursued by Zachary T. Paleozogt (mmmm nice)

I shall make a journal entry about my mishap and not go into details here. That way if you don't want to hear about it, you will have a choice.

I was mightily disappointed that I missed meeting the muse. Hopefully, next time..........

aw luvvy I just did read your journal entry 'bout your mishap ...

youch .... thinking of you ... what temperamental entities are these physical bodies of ours', sometimes ...

here ... ... or perhaps you're not allowed a drink, with medication .. OK ... extra

take care sweetie

H

In Ojibwe, the word for a Bigfoot-like creature is bugwayjinini, meaning Wild Man. The sightings of the creature have been on the increase in the rural areas around Lake Leech. Some estimates are that 300-400, perhaps as many as 500 of them now live in the area.

It is thought that they are migrating toward the east, perhaps to avoid a pending catastrophe. I've seen an actual plaster cast of a In bugwayjinini footprint, which leaves little doubt that they inhabit this area. The Ojibwe believe the bugwayjinini were put on Earth by the creator to teach the people medicine...they can build shelters and these are often are associated with piles of bones...

Last night I went to the lodge and the owners were apparently out sailing on the lake. I made a list of the items I took, according to a note they left and asked them to add it to my tab:
- 1 bundle firewood
- 1 bottle shiraz
- 1 package marshmellows
- 1 box Honey Maid Graham crackers
- 3 Hershey Bars

The lake is cold, but it's not glacier melt. I could swim in it. They sell leeches as bait here. Some of the huge artifical lures offered for sale imply very big fish live in the lake.

We have been biking every day. There's a paved bike trail that runs nearby. It is built on an abandoned rail line. The RV Park is a combination marina and RVs. It's very seasonal and most people rent spaces by the season. There are only a few spots for transients like us. We have a spot right on the lake. We're day-to-day because their computer is broken and they have no idea whether they've reserved our spot for someone else.

Probably we'll move on tomorrow. I want to go further north and see the Voyaguer National Park up on the border. It's amazing how many National Parks and National Monuments there are that I've never heard of before. I'll always regret missing the Agate Fossil National Monument in Nebraska.

and...Lady Chattingly...that's a bad combination of problems...hope you regain full mobility soon...

Phred, it sounds like you're having an interesting time. My children's librarian is going to be heading in that general direction in late July. That is yet another section of the country I've never explored. Perhaps someday.

The notion of the Ojibwe migrating east isinteresting. If that is the case, they need to get at least 600 miles from Yellowstone. And they need to hurry.

Shiraz and Smores. What a hoot!

Pierced insect-owning desert goddess, a zot in Minerva's case is a kitty who is super nosey, into everything, scratches the woodwork, shreds the morning paper and toilet paper rolls, and sleeps on your head - purring and drooling so you can't possibly sleep. It is also a kitty who has more toys than most children, is an unabashed flirt and does not realize that she is not the queen of the universe simply because no one has had the nerve to tell her so. In other words, a typical cat.

I have been invited (well, actually told I have to go) to a wedding in August. So I ordered a new dress in a size smaller that what I am wearing now. Should keep me on the straight and narrow diet-wise. The thing is, I have all these business-style clothes and enough casual clothes but only one summer dress. I'm tired of wearing it, so I needed something new anyway. I don't want to wear a business suit to a wedding.

Which brings up the outrageous weddings folks are having these days. They get bigger and bigger and more and more expensive. This one has been in the planning stages for a year already. Good grief! Odds are the marriage won't last that long. It's insane. I bet Ojibwe weddings are simple, family affairs. No caterers, no bands, no foolish toasts. And certainy no guests stuffed into dresses a size too small.

So, a little over four years when the earth's crust slips causing a realignment of the poles, which causes the New Madrid fault to rip open, which in turn triggers the super volcano under Yellowstone that wipes out most of life in North America immediately and in the rest of the world not long after, spending all that money on a wedding will seem pretty foolish. Instead, they could have bought a cave in the Ozarks and stocked it with enough food and water to last four or five years until the ash finally gets out of the atmosphere enough for the sun to be seen again.

That's what I plan to do when I win the lottery. Buy a cave. Turn into a survivalist. Stock up on firewood, large containers, enormous quantities of potting soil and fertilizer and lots and lots of vegetable seeds. It will be difficult to do laundry, so I'll need cases and cases of those five-packs of Haynes cotton panties and a generous supply of wet-wipes. And a veritable mountain of cat food for Minerva. It may not be the best plan in the world, but at least it's a plan.

Disposable plates and cups and plastic cutlery! I guess the sorts of things Phred needs for his travels.

I was unclear. The Ojibwe Indians ar staying put. The bugwayjinini creatures are thought to be migrating east to avoid some future catastophe (although if they can really easily change between dimensions, as believed, this seems unnecessary).

From what I can gather, a young Ojibwe man expresses his interest in a girl by killing something and bringing it to the lodge of her parents.

The first few days after the marraige are spent building a wigwam...at least it used to be that way....they probably go to Jamaica now.

Then I turned down the first romance of my life at age seven, when our new cat brought me a dead cricket every day. Except when it was a dead bird.

hey Leo! .. how are you these days? what are you up to?



ah yes .. the flirtatious ritualistic charms of the Zot-Kat ... heheheheheheh ...


Zot-Kat

I'm imagining interesting divorce scenes in the Kingdoms of the Zot-Kat ... the -Mrs chucking out all the possessions .....

... yeeeeow .. take your your dead crickets you ing ZotKreep .. and your gold plated dead-blackbird pendant ...


Mr ZotKat legging it down the street ... dead mice (wrapped in red ribbon) hurtling through the air ...

what am I talking about? I don't know ... I feel dizzy today ..

heheheheheh ..

its the splendid creative company I keep ....wink wink ... who keep presenting me with extraordinary juxtapositions of reality ....



ah yes .. weddings ... a novelist's paradise ... heheheheh .. we'll expect a full report of course ... Hyp-style ...

.. and all the while we are hurtling through space ...upside down and inside out and evolving and revolving and dissolving and ....

yuh... OK OK OK

.... < I'm going .. soon ..

we used to live with this guy who had an ancient VW campervan .. stuffed full with emergency supplies ... for when The End was upon us .. which, by his predictions, was pretty much every day .. at about 1.30 pm ... .. no kidding .. he had hundreds of cans of soup and baked beans stacked in there .. Heinz mainly ..

just him and Heinz .. heading into the smoky fading sunset ..

heheheheh ..



and then there's Wild Man bugwayjinini .... thankyou for the knowledge ...

gave me a fright in fact ... no kidding .. had just checked news report on the mapinguary ...

(the mapinguary!! ah yes .. I remember a journey ..... do I? help .. I am dizzy .. )

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7457894.stm ...

sort of thing ..

then I check h2 and CloudRep and the bugwayjinini come into my life ... is this synchronisity?

no .. this is the Shape of the Ape!

imagine a bugwayjinini wedding ..

no no no ...

they would look handsome though .. in top n' tails ... in some strange dimension ..





then there are Honey Maid Graham Crackers and Hershey Bars to consider .. neither of which I have sampled .. ever ever ever ever ..

time! time! I need time!

gotta go ..

Take Honey Maid Graham Crackers, Hershey Bars and Jet Puffed Marshmallows to England so our Cactus Goddess can have authentic Smores.


Minerva Zot could very well be related to The Great God Zot rather than to Bast. I do know that she is NOT related to Elvis, either before or after his deification. http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/sacred_heart_elvis.html

Cats are naturally superior and godlike, so it is natural for them to put on airs and zot about like they own the flipping universe. Minerva is quite full of herself. More so than most cats. She refuses to be ignored. She has completely taken over the Muse. The moment he comes in, she lays claim to his attentions and is quite put out if ~I~ want some attention.

yeh yeh yeh! pleeeze bring smores to this drooling hungry kid ...



..... and a dead-cricket peace offering ...for my previus ZotKat fevered brain characters ....(who bear no relation to characters living, dead or spirit ... ) ... and who just got re-married anyway ...

....in the FirstChurch of JC/Elvis ... (what an amazing link .....) in the glowing light of his sacred splendid heart ...



and may the Great God Zot and Minerva Zot forever watch over us all .. well .. me ... and protect me from most things .. except ... and smores ...

heheheheheheh ..

(heads off to devote life to JCElvis ... and to find out what jet puffed marshmallows are ...

Pluots, Quinoa, and Fadda's Day Bobbacue...(Thu 19 Jun...Juneteenth!)

Pluots are in season. PLUm-apricOT, that is. They're juicy as all get-out (think of a perfectly ripe peach) and probably the sweetest fruit I ever et. I find myself wondering how well they ferment....

I like to hit the 'random' button on Wikipedia, I confess. As a result, not only can I now consider myself competent on the subject of the final generation of battleships, for example, but also from time to time I stumble across something interesting.

This time it's Quinoa. The magical grain (pseudograss) that grows best in higher elevations and harsh conditions (first cultivated in the Andes), also has a very fine mixture of nutrients seemingly tailored for human benefit. It has no gluten and it can be et raw (remember to rinse the saponins away first) or cooked up a variety of ways, pretty much like rice. It has a flavor not unlike pearl barley, somewhat nuttier, interesting. I found some at the corner supermarket, and so far, I found it good with butter and soy sauce, and with milk and honey.

We had a late Father's Day shindig the Tuesday after, with the obligatory barbecue. Tuesday, because Lori had to wait for a day off so she could bring the children over. Harley is now 4, and the twins are officially toddlers. They were both frightened by my beard, but Mikey was able to get over it. Melanie would just glimpse my hairy face and start wailing. Ahh...she's a little drama queen anyway.

We barbecued the usual beef, chicken, sausages...and a serendipitously superb rack of spareribs. Everybody (including myself) agreed those were the best ribs any of us had ever et. I think I finally figured out how it is properly done.


...And the Proper Way to Celebrate the Solstice. (Sun 22 Jun)

Friday I left work directly to the sunshine resort for a weekend campout and marathon kayaking session. The weather called for a generous application of Hawaiian Tropic during the day and DEET about nightfall.

I was told by another resort member that the solstice officially occurred Fri at 1645 local. At that time I had just changed into my Solarian ritual garb: shades, sandals, and Hawaiian Tropic. (I only resumed the trappings of the civilized world late this morning, reluctantly, for the drive home.) I set up my tent and kayak on a peninsula on the lake, and spent much more time in the kayak than in the tent. In addition to the days, two nights of splendid moonlight on mirror-smooth water called to me...

The only thing I could call "bogus" the entire weekend was a concert last night by some Garth Brooks wannabe. Not even the discovery of dozens of tiny leeches on my feet that afternoon, was that bogus. Poor little baby leeches, they didn't have the tooth-power to get through my skin, but they were certainly making the effort. I figure I picked them up when I stepped into a methane-bubbling patch of muck as I waded through the reeds to find a private place to have a toke or two.

So anyway, the Sun was about a fingerbreadth above the horizon and I was playing some appropriate Solstice-sunset music in me head ('Tales from Topographic Oceans', the second movement...it now occurs to me that I'm not such a Luddite that I wouldn't benefit from owning an IPod for situations like this...) and suddenly that damned ya-hoo starts in on the caterwauling. I remained long enough to witness the Sun's departure, then abandoned the lake in disgust and fled toward the river, braving the snakes on the trail in the deepening dusk. I caught some fitful strains off to the side of what I first thought was Calliope music from a carnival but it soon resolved into Mexican folk music, still better than that distorted C&W. Not even the river could drown out the noise. I stayed away until the fellow's second encore (?!?), which turned out to be a competent cover of 'Blue Suede Shoes', but the clown closed the song by substituting 'cowboy boots'. Way to go, Slick. You just earned a trip to Hell for that one.

I had a 14-strong gaggle of Canada geese hanging around my campsite this weekend, they were quite civil this time around, much to my surprise. Remember that floating drifting white feather in 'Forrest Gump'? That was a goose feather. I recovered one from their group preening, and I wore it in my hair elastic the whole weekend, that is, whenever I was wearing one.

This morning, a fellow I met last month shows up with his pet tortoise
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_spur_thigh_tortoise , shepherding her through her five-hour trek around the lake. She ambled toward those geese like a bionic 50-pound Afrika Korps Panzer. It was fun watching the geese react. They didn't say a word, but they retreated en masse, step by slow step, as the juggernaut juggered on....

If you can claim the sunrise as your very own, you own the day. I arose quite early this morning with the moon on high, and practiced my best stealthy Gollum-kayaking for a longish while, not really paying attention to the progression of the night. The ducks and geese were all resigned to my presence at this point, so they didn't freak when I
floated in amongst them. I was a bit surprised when the eastern sky began to lighten, so floating and smoking I awaited the first warming radiance...

Eightish, when the Lakeside Inn had opened for the day, I hitched my kayak to the rail and ambled up the bank, trolling for coffee. It is a sublime thing, to sit on a patio overlooking the volleyball pool and the lake, enjoying an excellent full-service breakfast, skyclad in the clear warm morning light.

Damn, I really hated to drive away.

Hi Cactus. This summer I'm melting DNA for fun and profit. And you?

I've read about pluots and quinoa but have never tasted either. I wonder if quinoa is an allergan like so many other grains?

It sounds like you had quite an evening, Xantief. except for the leeches. On the other hand, leeches might be preferable to the music.

Hi there, Leo. How precisely does one melt DNA? Sounds rather Something a pierced insect might do. And how's the weather in beautiful downtown Gotham? We're about to float away in these parts.

Speaking of piercing, I'm trying to decide whether to have my ears repierced. I let them grow together because i had three decades of infections in the left earlobe. Nothing I did helped. The right one was fine. But I don't think I'm interested in being peirced any other places. I've been afraid to ask Cactus (fill in the blank) exactly where her insect is pierced. I probably don't want to know.

Dear Leo,

I've been following your career path for almost four years. Your most recent cryptic post raises a number of questions:

1. Are you using the Wallace method or the Nearest-Neighbor method to estimate Tm?

2. The last I heard you were studying electrical engineering. Have you swithched to molecular biology?

3. When are you going to come to your senses and study investment banking or mortgage banking? Even better, you should study accounting or become a park ranger.

Best wishes,

Phred

From the Shores of Gitche Gumee:

Leo: catctuscafe has gone to Brighton. Her mate came in first in a poker tounament (again) and they've gone off for a week or two to celebrate.

Xantief: Any economist would say, "Other things being equal, nudists use more Deet and Hawaiian Tropic".

Own the sunrise..own the day...nice thoughts...

My own son was 39 on Father's Day...I keep expecting to hear about the impending 7th grandchild...they still have time to make a few more.

We've been here forever, before you were born
We are creatures of love, We are creatures of love
A man can drive a car
And a woman can be a boss
I'm a monkey and a flower
I'm everything at once
Well, a woman and a man can be together
If they decide to they'll make little creatures
Watch 'em now!
-Talking Heads