h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't know what I'd do without you Prof!

Today is going to be tough. My first baby funeral. Please pray for me or send strength I've got to get through this professionally but I'm not sure I can

Oh dear. I wish you all the strength I can, but I believe it is allowed to in situations like this no matter how professional you are

Thank you dear

I can report that all went well. The funeral was sad but beautiful. My sister came along to support me. I was standing in front of her when I opened the funeral cards package and when I saw the baby's last name was the same as my partner's, I almost lost my composure. We were so shocked (it's an unusual name). I believe I held my breath until the family left the church and then I cried on her shoulder.

I'm not sorry that's over, but I still love my job.

GB! Since we first met (in real life) you became a good and close friend love
My strength in spirit has therefore always being with you and always will be...
distance might stop personal contact as such, but distance can never stop thoughts and positive vibes

Prof

Missing my job, my church is locked and I'm not allowed to go. No services, no friendly familiar faces. Some of the regular parishioners are quite elderly and frail and I don't know if I'll see some of them again. Tomorrow should have been our first wedding of the year and goodness knows how many funerals we've missed. I feel so sorry for all the brides and grooms (or whatever combination) who have had their big day postponed, there was a segment on the news this morning about couples being charged for cancellations, hmmm, although I know the whole wedding industry is suffering from the lockdown I'm not sure sticking disappointed couples with the bill is the way.

nuff said

So, my church reopened last Sunday for services. I went along, wearing my mask. I counted one other person wearing a mask. No singing, no touching anyone else. One at a time for Holy Communion being dealt out by the gloved, non-masked vicar. Just the wafer, no wine.

I've been booked for two funerals at the end of the month. I admit I'm nervous. As I'll be standing at the church entrance greeting mourners and supervising the undertakers' arrival, I have to hope that other people socially distance from me. And none proffer a hand for shaking. Then make sure they have all seated themselves appropriately. There's a maximum of 30 people allowed. I am not sure how I am going to turn people away once I have counted that many in. The family of the deceased usually follow the coffin in, but I don't normally have access to those numbers. Angst. Worry. Calm down GB.

It has become customary here to tell in paid memorial advertisements that only the immediate family and close friends can participate. It is then agreed with the family who will come. Sad but necessary. Good luck

Hi GB

If it's your job to prevent more than 30 people in, I suggest you don't let anyone in until the coffin and immediate family have entered. Then everyone else can stream in behind them, stopping at 30.

I don't want that to be my job.

I intend having a word with the funeral director, see if they can do the policing

Good idea

I agree GB! I would never be able to treat people in what seems to be an inconsiderate and unkind way ...

Best of luck!

"no touching anyone else"

What's new ? I haven't been able to that for yearsmy wallet is THAT thin, it can't attract "female candidates"

I'm back at work today. The funeral is of a 47 y.o. lady who died in her sleep. She had lost her 21 y.o. daughter in January (aneurism). I know this family. The funeral is down as "private" - no mention of my church - so hopefully only family will be there. The vicar has organised helpers to assist, but I will be in charge. Face coverings are "encouraged but not compulsory", there's a box of disposable face masks inside church and hand gel in the porch which *must* be used. Too right.

I met the widower of the lady whose funeral is tomorrow, on Sunday at Holy Communion service. He handed me a list of 30 names of family. So anyone not on the list won't be allowed in, and I'll have to stick to that. The days of standing-room only funerals are long gone.

Pleased to report all went well. Four black plumed horses pulling the glass hearse. Never seen such a coffin before - it was an American-style metal casket with the lid able to open at the top half, like you see on American tv shows when they go in the funeral home to view a body. The casket was so heavy it took 8 men to shoulder it in and they struggled under the weight. I had to hold the side door open (it was very windy today) and I was extremely close to the shoulders of the coffin-bearers as they entered church. Glad that's not the norm,

I've often thought of this scenario

If I died in an accident etc, I might know slightly in advance that I'm a gonna this time
(as happeneda few times)
But! If I die in my sleep 1 - how will I know ?
and 2 - will someone wake me up to tell my I've died
add 3 - I'll be bloody angry! Because I'll have NOT seen the next episode in some series I was watching Especially if I'd set the video recorder etc

Yesterday's funeral couldn't have been more different from Tuesday's. I'd been given a tick-list of invited mourners, which numbered 32 and as there was Carl the organist, Paul the vicar, me and two assistants, there should have been a maximum of 25 on the list so we set up some plastic chairs in the back of the church (where the bridal party would assemble pre-wedding march). Some people arrived who weren't even on the list. I counted one mask-wearing mourner, and we were giving away disposable masks, which were all refused! I escorted everyone I'd ticked off or added to the ever-increasing list to the hand sanitiser dispenser and insisted they sanitise their hands, or no entry. So far, so good. The chief undertaker and his pallbearers all wore masks and gloves. No singing allowed, of course, so 3 songs off cds were played during the service. I thought all had gone well but the widower decided to stand at the church entrance/exit to greet everyone who was leaving, to thank them for attending (even though he'd done that in his eulogy) - it created quite a bottleneck and no-one was social-distancing.

"and we were giving away disposable masks, which were all refused"

Hey! If "they" want to risk the chance of copping corona and maybe die from it that's their tough luck (idiots)
BUT! it'll keep the funeral services in work
so don't knock it

JUST you be safe sweetheart oksod t'others!!!

What he ^ said

Thankfully no comeback from those funerals

Today we have funeral #3 in the "new normal" (at 12 noon). Since funeral #2 there has been a new ruling from the CofE, face masks MUST be worn inside church. So there'll be no excuses today.