Journal Entries
The Accumulation of Materialist Stuff.
Posted Feb 5, 2005
I have like a hundred or so videos all bought in the last 2 years, [not including things like 'The Care Bares' etc of my childhood of which there are about another 30 - 50]. I bought myself a new lamp and a beard-trimmer and few other bits and bobs for Christmas. I spent about £100 or so on gifts for mother over Christmas and New Year, but she gave me some money for me to put towards TV. I only have about 20 DVDs not including the four B5 Box sets, all I think were bought this year, I recently bought a fairly decent leather overcoat, because I couldn't bring myself to take my cashmere overcoat to the drycleaners if I didn’t have a replacement coat to hide inside when out and about. I just spent a ridiculous about of money of a bat'leh [£125, I think that £90 would have been about right,] next week I'm intent on buying that 21" screen TV. And at some point if I can give up smoking I will be spending money on a *real* Katana, not the overwhelming exquisite ancient ones that cost £1500 or more, but one with a proper blended carbon steel blade, rather than a stainless steel blade that snap off at the hilt if you had cause to use it to cleave someone with a thick skull. That will cost betwixt £150 and £250.
I'd have even more material items if I didn't insist on getting taxis when I can't face walking [usually due to psychological sh!t but sometimes I'm just being lazy].
I'm spending £5 to £10 quid less a week on smoking that had been in last few months of 2004, the mess over HB was sorted in December and I got £250 back from SOHA [landlord] and a 80% reduced service charge. And not managing a fairly long-distance relationship I’m not paying to travel or feed another person. Also at some point last year I went onto higher rate Incapacity. Of course I can't continue to spend like this. That is because I'm still wasting money on cigarettes. I need to get over the psychological addiction to cigarette by emphasising the benefits of having some tangible to show for the money at the end of the day. I always feel incredibly guilty about spending money on anything that isn't a bargain, which also ties in with hating giving money to tobacco giants and the stinging tax on the things. I want to direct the money both towards improving my mother's quality of life and also to having more of a social life. Meaning more trips a Brighton nightclub with 'friends' from Sproutlore and more of the events that Sproutlore is affiliated with. Also when I get out of that SOHA hellhole I'll need funds to make what the council gives me into a *home*.
Sorry, I'm waffling and not making sense and boring with details you need not and likely would rather not know.
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Latest reply: Feb 5, 2005
Interesting...
Posted Feb 5, 2005
http://www.pentagonstrike.co.uk/
Discuss this Journal entry [15]
Latest reply: Feb 5, 2005
Irritation.
Posted Feb 1, 2005
Some people on this site really get on my nerves...
Probably not wise to name names but some people are so bloody smug, pompous, obnoxious convinced of the undeniable rightness of any opinion they hold simply because it is there’s and argh!
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Latest reply: Feb 1, 2005
Ms Eks - again.
Posted Jan 30, 2005
I was just thinking how ‘not-down’ I'm feeling and how I haven't had an intrusive thought since I got up when... I sit down to watch [the admittedly less-than-mediocre 'Queen Of The Damned']. This was flawed decision making on my part. Yes Stuart Townsend is "luxuriant" and I've always had a thing for vampyres and doesn't matter what, but I couldn't bare it... Both Townsend and Vampirism make me think of “Ms Eks” for so many reasons and just a few minutes of the film have left me completely deflated.
How long is gonna be before I can indulge parts of my personality, likes and desires etc without being hit with these kinda feelings… 
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Latest reply: Jan 30, 2005
*Phew*
Posted Jan 24, 2005
Spent the last hour in a near panic! I couldn't get a conection to the remote computer. The phone worked and had a dial tone but the modem just kept dialing clicking off and re-dialing every 5 seconds... I don't what I thought was going on... Wondered if the bill hadn't been paid and I'd been cut off and all sorts of paranoid ideas. Yikes. I hope it doesn't happen again.
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Latest reply: Jan 24, 2005
Mr Jack
Researcher U1217361
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