h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was just thinking how ‘not-down’ I'm feeling and how I haven't had an intrusive thought since I got up when... I sit down to watch [the admittedly less-than-mediocre 'Queen Of The Damned']. This was flawed decision making on my part. Yes Stuart Townsend is "luxuriant" and I've always had a thing for vampyres and doesn't matter what, but I couldn't bare it... Both Townsend and Vampirism make me think of “Ms Eks” for so many reasons and just a few minutes of the film have left me completely deflated.
How long is gonna be before I can indulge parts of my personality, likes and desires etc without being hit with these kinda feelings…

I have no idea- you've been through a lot

I dunno. This is going to sound stupid, but maybe its kind of like the bends. You have to slowly acclimate yourself to being yourself again. That didn't make a lot of sense, did it?

Maybe get your hands on some Hellsing manga or a few Anne Rice novels. I feel better reading than I do watching a movie. There's one I found not too long ago that looked interesting, even to me, and I'm not too bothered about vampires. Let me see if I can think of the name...

Recently panic-attacks have been hitting me when I've been reading more than any other time/activity... Reading has always been a favourite activity for me, escaping into another universe or luxuriating in use of language or just having a laugh with something funny. Recently, no amount of quality story telling has been enough to keep away the intense fear I've been getting.

No books?

What's your favourite method for dealing with panic attacks?

Yeah... I don't think I could live without books...

No I still readeth the books... Just don't always enjoy it as much as I once did.

I wouldn't say I had a favourite method of dealing with panic-attacks... How I respond to the panic depends on quite a few variables, such as where I am, wether I know what the trigger was and if I do what that trigger was, wether or not I felt the panic attack coming, which symptoms of a panic attack I'm having and so on...
But things I'll pretty much always do in response to panic is to try an empty my mind of everything apart from focusing on breathing exercises.

So you're au fait with the things. They're a pain in the neck, though, aren't they? I used to carry a paper bag around with me.

I like the comparison with the bends. I imagine they feel pretty similar!

I've just been talking to one of my 'in-laws', who discovered today that the supposed asthma attacks she's been having are actually panic attacks. The poor thing had had a bad night's sleep last night followed by a day without eating but having lots of sugary drinks. This on top of family worries. A recipe for a panic attack if ever there was one. As she knows very little about them, I'm going to lend her my favourite book on panic attacks--a cartoon-based instruction manual for housetraining your "It". "It" is an ugly green that moves in with you and tries to take control of your life.

Going back to luxuriating in language, do you like to read poetry? My favourite poet has just won the T. S. Eliot Prize.

(I seem to have moved the subject away from Ms Eks. This is only because I feel ill-equipped to comment and uncertain about asking personal questions. Unburden at your leisure.)

"I used to carry a paper bag around with me."

Eeps! I couldn't do that even I thought using a paper bag would help me, getting bag out in public to breathe into, yikes, that could draw attention to me.

That book sounds kinda cool.

I've enjoyed reading poetry in the past, not read any recently. Do read song lyrics a from time to time, not so much for the use of language but for concepts that admire or identify with.
Who is your favourite poet then?

I wish I knew of any international poets... But Karin Boye is a good Swedish one, I think. If she doesn't come translated, you could always waste your time learning Swedish.

Milla

Was fairly good at French and German... barely remember single phrase in either now. I was watching Le Haine and Das Experiment the other day, I had to rely entirely on the subtitles. If anyones not seen them then they are definatly missing out!
Saw for the first time two other 'cult' films recently, Donnie Darko and Perfect Blue, I was muchly disappointed by both. Donnie Darko more than Perfect Blue. Don't know what anybody sees in Donnie Darko, was boring, unoriginal, like a pale imitation of a David Lynch film.

Lordy, I never got my paper bag out in public! I was at uni at the time and, assuming I made it out of my house to get to the college, I'd always manage to find some quiet corner to freak out in. They were old buildings, full of dark alcoves and hidden toilets. I had a collection of hidey-holes all along the High Street, too.

But they're horrible things to experience. I do sympathise.

"That book sounds kinda cool."

Yeah, it's very funny. I hope my in-law finds it as helpful as I have.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0722536658/qid%3D1107297614/026-3101422-6199666

Interesting that you like to read song lyrics, because it struck me when I looked at your poems recently that they could easily be put to music. Gothic rock, say. Did you have tunes in your head when you wrote them?

George Szirtes is my current favourite poet. There's an extract from one of his poems on my PS. He was a Hungarian refugee who fled with his family to America when he was a kid. His command of [the English] language is astounding. I notice new things every time I look at his work. He makes my toes curl with pleasure.

Whose lyrics do you like?

Karin Boye, eh? Apparently, Bloodaxe has published a translation of her poetry. (I hope they've had the sense to put the Swedish versions on the facing pages. Even if I can't speak a language, I like to see what a poem looks and sounds like in its original form.) What kinds of things does she write about? What type of poetry is it?

I quite enjoyed Donnie Darko, though I think that was helped by not having heard any of the hype about it. Never heard of Perfect Blue.

I really only remember about a few of her poems, and she was the only poet I could think of...

But anyway, I think she is (was) a good observer of emotions and states of mind, of being in love and in pain, and of life in general.

Have to make dinner now!

Milla

The poems that were in ? I did have vague ideas of what they could have sounded like if or put to music, but know real tunes in my head though... I lost all musical ability a long time ago.

"I quite enjoyed Donnie Darko"

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you feel better soon.

"I think that was helped by not having heard any of the hype about it"

I'd not heard any hype, just heard that it had achieved cult status...

"Never heard of Perfect Blue."

If you've no interest in Manga or Japanese cinema then I wouldn't be surprised...

This week I watched amongst other things: Ichi The Killer, a very entertaining film, the blood is completely unconvincing, but that just doesn't matter the characters are fascinating despite not always achieving 3 dimensions...
Ghost In The Shell, which is hyped, and taking its age into account it is perfectly understandable why, definitely deserving of it's mythos...
And Dark Water, which is from the same writer, and director combination that made the fantastic original Japanese 'Ring'. Not as good as I felt it was when I saw it on the big screen but still a definite worth-watcher.

Ah! Manga. I'll get around to taking an interest in it someday. Honest.

I quite like French Surrealist stuff.

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean recently. Johnny Depp was brill; other than that, the film was dire.

"Ah! Manga. I'll get around to taking an interest in it someday. Honest."

Good good!

"I quite like French Surrealist stuff."

Not seen much of that my self.


"I saw Pirates of the Caribbean recently. Johnny Depp was brill; other than that, the film was dire"

He is... and thanks to him I found the film a good laugh.