Journal Entries

Weak. Mourn. Cry.

Got a msg from the one that got away.
Took me almost 2 hours to write a brief reply that avoided saying much
Much crying etc. and I've got a about a dozen small cuts in my arm.

The best thing she could have done for herself is get rid of me. Still is.

http://toolshed.down.net/lyrics/undertowlyrics.php#03


Discuss this Journal entry [57]

Latest reply: Aug 9, 2006

2006 - Resolutions!

1. To become the humble owner of an iMac.smiley - ok

2. To become a user of broadband.smiley - biggrin

3. To become the shameless user of SG services!smiley - boingsmiley - boing
[I'm not gonna get near the real thing this lifetime.]

Discuss this Journal entry [31]

Latest reply: Jan 1, 2006

;'/pjkjklkjokjoo//l

I feel. Trapped. Isolated. Unable to communicate or express. Numb, emotionally stunted. Chronic emptiness, engulfing and overwhelming a homunculus spirit. I don’t know. Do I feel anything? Is there a turbulent worm erupting from my head?
I’m alone.
I don’t connect.
Alone.
Less alone at home, on my own with a TV than, I am with wire to the world. Less alone with a wire to the world than I am in a room with my kin.
We’re both alone. Not together in our loneliness, no, two people connected by blood alone in the same space. I can’t express! Can’t express!
Alone. With a wire, with nothing to say and no-one to say it to. Look to a box to protect me from the universe beyond it.

When did you last touch someone?

Discuss this Journal entry [9]

Latest reply: Dec 4, 2005

Rule

This site http://www.nationstates.net is very addictive. The power over the lives of millions. The power to shape a nation's destiny. The power. The power!
Seriously, you decide on usually two issues a day and then you have to wait. I mean wait! This is an on demand, instant gratification global society and they expect us to wait a full day!

Discuss this Journal entry [1]

Latest reply: Nov 19, 2005

Too Far Behind

I am in the process of completely fecking-up this course.

Maybe I shouldn't have come off of sertraline. It may have done little for my depression, but it seems it was doing more for my anxiety than I was aware.
Anxiety and lack of self-discipline and control over my sleep pattern and other symptoms of my general lameness are putting me behind and making it seem doubtful that I can pass the course...
To fail because I'm intellectually incapable is one thing to fail because I'm a loser is another.

Discuss this Journal entry [19]

Latest reply: Nov 8, 2005


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