Journal Entries
I Don't Want It. I Don't Need It.
Posted Aug 7, 2005
I've not self-harmed since January...
I still get this sensation in my limbs, it used to be like a scream from my veins demanding to be cut... My blood screaming at me to be let out... My skin craving the Exquisite liberating pain of a burning cigarette end being gently pressed to the flesh…
I can feel it now, telling me I should cut myself, to get relief from what these days is more like chronic apathy and unease, rather than an overwhelming urge to die and escape the pain of existing...
I have BPD.
But I won't cut, I won't burn, it's a tool that I chosing not to employ, don't want it, I don't need it.
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Latest reply: Aug 7, 2005
Grrr Grrr Grrr...
Posted Jul 24, 2005
I don't know if it's Myrddin, me or frickin' MSN but I can't get onto my MSN Space, I can't get onto messenger... It keeps telling my goddamn passwords are wrong or tells me my feckin e mail addies don't exist.
Not sure what I want to do about really...
...
...
...
Guess I'll try and make yet another account and if I keep getting messed about... Hmm. I just don't know.
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Latest reply: Jul 24, 2005
Can They...?
Posted Jul 21, 2005
...turn my blood cold and bitter?
...beat my compassion black and blue?
Is that what they wanted?
Is that what they've got?
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Latest reply: Jul 21, 2005
Off He Goes...
Posted Jul 18, 2005
Off to Brighthelmstone for a Rankin Booklaunch/Signing/party type thing, a bit nervous for a variety of reasons, money, forgetting my way around, being around so many people, not fitting it and all that kinda ballcocks...
I'm sure I'll have a great time, once I've dragged myself down there, gonna chech out the Daleks that invaded several weeks ago too...
Take care...
Avernus.
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Latest reply: Jul 18, 2005
Nice But Dim...
Posted Jul 9, 2005
I've no time to give a full account of how it happened...
But I managed to hand £15 quid that I couldn't afford to lose to a grifter/confidence trickster.
I thought I'd play along with this guy that was asking for my monetery assistance until I could be more sure that I wasn't turning away someone genuinely in need of a "good samaritan"... But it didn't work out how I'd planned, I ended up giving my money to this trickster, wasting 2 hours of my day and feeling like the cretinous fool I am...
Still my woes are small compared to many others.
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Latest reply: Jul 9, 2005
Mr Jack
Researcher U1217361
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