Journal Entries

Weak And Powerless

I need a blood test, for diabeties and a function tests for my organs and other stuff.
I need an ECG, again.
Blood pressure test, again.
I need an eye test. My vision is getting burry/unfocused in the distance.
I need to get around to getting a dentist.
I need a hair cut.
I need to find out if I'm showing early signs of arthritis.
I'm starting to tink about askig for stomach reduction surgery.
I need to cut and bleed and stop feeling this way.
I need to hold back these tears.

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Latest reply: Oct 5, 2005

In The Chill Night A Gate To Hell Shines

I'm cold.
I'm alone.
I'm guilty.
I'm scared.
I'm too f**king aware.

Discuss this Journal entry [16]

Latest reply: Oct 1, 2005

Make Zombies History...

So read my wristbands. Haven't been to see the film yet, but I do have the keyring/bottle opener, post and aforementioned wristbands... Went to the Engineroom with Tim and Loz & Dave and Dee of Sproutlore, I was the only Zombie there for Zombie night, but I was sporting my new TopHat so who cares! I looked distinguished and dead!
Had a great time trying my best at impersonating someone without two-leftfeet, imbibing and the odd bit of conversation...

The lovely Tim and Loz put me up for the night and I got home 24 hours after leaving.

Discuss this Journal entry [12]

Latest reply: Sep 27, 2005

Having A Go.

Yesterday I had this feeling of being betrayed. As I had the day before too. The person I felt betrayed by was my therapist.
Today I feel like everyone is having a go at me.
I'm not sure of wether it's reasonable to have felt/feel like this.

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Latest reply: Sep 23, 2005

He Had Alot Of Nothing To Say. But He Sure Could Yell...

What follows is a reply to a post that I thought better of making.

'I've got "pre-birthday blues", I'm gonna be 23. I don't expect to ever find someone to share my life with. And, I don't expect to live much longer, my weight is gonna kill me relitively young and even if I haven't cut or burned recently there is still a real chance I'll kill myself in a more direct manner before very long anyway... The birthday might trigger it this month, the 2nd year non-annivery of my engagement in November and Christmas always pushes me... I've known for a long time I want a child and I've known just as long it's not gonna happen, I'm too ugly and too f*cked-up...'

Discuss this Journal entry [19]

Latest reply: Sep 10, 2005


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Mr Jack

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